Being A Soccer Goalie Can Be Dangerous!

B: So you went ahead and did it even though you didn't want to, eh?
M: Yeah. Sometimes I'm really a pushover. It's hard to say "No", isn't it?
B: Tell me about it. I'm always getting sucked into doing something I don't want to.
M: Like what? Give me an example.
B: Well, when I used to work at an English conversation school, I was often expected to do things with
the students outside of work time.
M: Just to keep the customer happy, right?
B: Right. Normally, I didn't mind it, because it was usually something fun like going to karaoke, or going
to a nice restaurant or something.
M: Yeah, I had that too. My students were always so kind, they'd show me around town, and take me
to all kinds of fun places.
B: Right, people ARE so kind, and that makes it even harder to say "No" when you don't feel like going.
M: I know, it's hard.
B: Well, one of my students had a teenage son, and he had this soccer team with his friends. And he
wanted me to play on his team.
M: Uh-huh.
B: Now you know me, right? I'm awful at sports. I was always the last person chosen to be on the
team in school sports. Anything that involves throwing or catching a ball, I suck. Sometimes it's
downright embarrassing.
M: (Laughs) Yeah, I can't really picture you going on the attack.
B: Right, I'm very laid-back, right? Very mellow.
M: (Laughs) Right.
B: So, of course, I didn't want to go. I knew I would embarrass myself. But my student was pleading,
"Oh come on. Pleeeeease. He really likes you, and it would make him very happy."
M: What could you do?
B: What could I do, right? So I was like, "Oh all right...." Well, as it turned out, when I showed up at
the soccer field and started practicing, sure enough, I fumbled around and looked really awkward. So
my teammates took one look at me and were like, "Where can we put him?"
M: Oh no.
B: It's like I was back in school. The last one picked for the team. So anyway, they decided to make
me goalie.
M: Goalie? Well, at least you don't have to attack anyone with the ball.
B: Yeah, instead they attack ME.
M: (Laughs) Right.
B: So there I am, standing in front of the goal waiting nervously for the other team to attack. I try to
psych myself up by dancing on my toes like a boxer, and saying, "You can do it! You're a superfast
goalkeeper. NO BALL WILL GET PAST ME!"
M: Hah.
B: Then...the attack. The other team's player kicks and I jump to catch it, but instead of me catching
the ball, the ball smashes into my FACE...
M: OHH....
B: Knocking my glasses off, and BREAKING my glasses!
B: Well, that was it for me. I decided the game was over. The other players kept playing, and I had to
limp home, with my swollen nose, blind.
M: That's what you get for being too nice...