Time: 　10:00 P.M., Thursday, June 16, 1904 Scene: the National Maternity Hospital, 29-31 Holies Street, Dublin where Mina Purefoy is giving birth. Organ:　the womb Art:　medicine Colors:　white Symbol: mothers Technique: embryonic development Correspondences: Trinacria [the island of the sun-god Helios, modern Sic- ily]--the hospital; Lampote and Phaethusa [daughters of Helios entrusted with guarding the sacred cattle]-- the nurses; Helios--Home [Doctors Andrew J. Horne and Patrick J. Barry were the masters of the National Maternity Hospital in Holies Street in 1904]; Oxen-- fertility; Crime [killing the oxen]--fraud [in the formal sense of breaking a vow]. Background: In Book 12 of The Odyssey, Odysseus and his men sail from Circe's island; they pass the Sirens, run the gamut of Scylla and Charybdis, and at nightfall are coasting the island of the sun-god Helios (Trinacria, modern Sicily). Both Circe and Tiresias have warned Odysseus to avoid the island and particularly to avoid harming the cattle sacred to Helios. But the crew, led by Eurylochus, re- fuse to spend the night at sea; Odysseus asks them to swear that they will not touch the sacred cattle, and when they agree, he reluctantly lands on the island. However, adverse weather maroons them on the island, and finally their provisions are ex-hausted. Odysseus goes inland to pray for relief but falls asleep. In the meantime, Eurylochus convinces the crew to forswear their oath, and they slaughter enough cattle for a six- day feast. Odysseus was in despair when he returned, but nothing could be done. On the seventh day, in dec- eptively fair weather, they embark. But Lampote has warned her father, Helios, who has appealed to Zeus. Zeus has promised retribution, and when the ship leaves the island, he makes good his word, destroying ship and crew with a light-ning bolt and thus fulfilling the pro- phecies of Circe and Tiresias. Odysseus, once more frustrated and now condemned to further delay in his voyage home, lashes the mast and keel of his shattered ship together and endures the voyage through the whirlpool of Charybdis and past Scylla's rock. He is beached in exile on Calypso's island.

Deshil Holles Eamus. Deshil Holles Eamus.1 Deshil Holles Eamus. 　　　　　　　　　　　　Style 1

Send us bright one, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit.2 Send
us bright one, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit. Send us
bright one, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit.

Hoopsa boyaboy hoopsa! Hoopsa boyaboy hoopsa!3 Hoopsa boyaboy hoop-
sa!

Universally that person's acumen is esteemed very little perceptive 　　　　　　　　　 　Style 2
concerning whatsoever matters are being held as most profitably by mortals
with sapience endowed to be studied who is ignorant of that which the most
in doctrine erudite and certainly by reason of that in them high mind's
ornament deserving of veneration constantly maintain when by general con-
sent they affirm that other circumstances being equal by no exterior splen-
dour is the prosperity of a nation more efficaciously asserted than by the
measure of how far forward may have progressed the tribute of its solici-
tude for that proliferent continuance which of evils the original if it be
absent when fortunately present constitutes the certain sign of omnipollent4
nature's incorrupted benefaction. For who is there who anything of some
significance has apprehended but is conscious that that exterior splendour
may be the surface of a downwardtending lutulent reality5 or on the
contrary anyone so is there unilluminated as not to perceive that as no
nature's boon can contend against the bounty of increase so it behoves
every most just citizen to become the exhortator and admonisher of his
semblables and to tremble lest what had in the past been by the nation
excellently commenced might be in the future not with similar excellence
accomplished if an inverecund habit shall have gradually traduced the6
honourable by ancestors transmitted customs to that thither of profundity
that that one was audacious excessively who would have the hardihood to
rise affirming that no more odious offence can for anyone be than to
oblivious neglect to consign that evangel simultaneously command and
promise which on all mortals with prophecy of abundance or with
diminution's menace that exalted of reiteratedly procreating function ever
irrevocably enjoined?7

It is not why therefore we shall wonder if, as the best historians relate, 　　　　 　　　Style 3
among the Celts, who nothing that was not in its nature admirable admired,
the art of medicine shall have been highly honoured.8 Not to speak of
hostels, leperyards, sweating chambers, plaguegraves,9 their greatest doctors,
the O'Shiels,10 the O'Hickeys,11 the O'Lees,12 have sedulously set down the
divers methods by which the sick and the relapsed found again health
whether the malady had been the trembling withering or loose boyconnell
flux.13 Certainly in every public work which in it anything of gravity contains
preparation should be with importance commensurate and therefore a plan
was by them adopted (whether by having preconsidered or as the
maturation of experience it is difficult in being said which the discrepant
opinions of subsequent inquirers are not up to the present congrued to
render manifest) whereby maternity was so far from all accident possibility
removed that whatever care the patient in that allhardest of woman hour
chiefly required and not solely for the copiously opulent but also for her
who not being sufficiently moneyed scarcely and often not even scarcely
could subsist valiantly and for an inconsiderable emolument was provided.

To her nothing already then and thenceforward was anyway able to be
molestful for this chiefly felt all citizens except with proliferent moth-
ers prosperity at all not to can be and as they had received eternity
gods mortals generation to befit them her beholding, when the case was
so hoving itself, parturient in vehicle thereward carrying desire immense
among all one another was impelling on of her to be received into that
domicile. O thing of prudent nation not merely in being seen but also even
in being related worthy of being praised that they her by anticipation went
seeing mother,14 that she by them suddenly to be about to be cherished had
been begun she felt!

Before born bliss babe had. Within womb won he worship. Whatever in that 　 　　　　Style 4
one case done commodiously done was. A couch by midwives attended with
wholesome food reposeful, cleanest swaddles as though forthbringing were
now done and by wise foresight set: but to this no less of what drugs
there is need and surgical implements which are pertaining to her case
not omitting aspect of all very distracting spectacles in various lati-
tudes by our terrestrial orb offered together with images, divine and hu-
man, the cogitation of which by sejunct15 females is to tumescence con-
ducive or eases issue in the high sunbright wellbuilt fair home of mo-
thers when, ostensibly far gone and reproductitive, it is come by her
thereto to lie in, her term up.

Some man that wayfaring was16 stood by housedoor at night's oncoming.
Of Israel's folk17 was that man that on earth wandering far had fared.
Stark ruth of man his errand that him lone led till that house.

Of that house A. Horne is lord.18 Seventy beds keeps he there teeming mo-
thers are wont that they lie for to thole and bring forth bairns hale so
God's angel to Mary quoth. Watchers tway there walk, white sisters in ward
sleepless. Smarts they still, sickness soothing: in twelve moons thrice an
hundred.19 Truest bedthanes they twain are, for Horne holding wariest ward.

In ward wary the watcher hearing come that man mildhearted eft rising with
swire ywimpled20 to him her gate wide undid. Lo, levin21 leaping lightens in
eyeblink Ireland's westward welkin. Full she drad that God the Wreaker all
mankind would fordo with water for his evil sins.22 Christ's rood made she
on breastbone and him drew that he would rathe23 infare under her thatch.24
That man her will wotting worthful went in Horne's house.

Loth to irk in Horne's hall hat holding the seeker stood. On her stow25 he
ere was living with dear wife and lovesome daughter that then over land and
seafloor nine years had long outwandered.26 Once her in townhithe27 meet-
ing he to her bow had not doffed. Her to forgive now he craved with good
ground of her allowed that that of him swiftseen face, hers, so young then
had looked. Light swift her eyes kindled, bloom of blushes his word win-
ning.

As her eyes then ongot his weeds swart therefor sorrow she feared.
Glad after she was that ere adread was. Her he asked if O'Hare Doctor
tidings sent from far coast and she with grameful28 sigh him answered that
O'Hare Doctor in heaven was. Sad was the man that word to hear that him
so heavied in bowels ruthful. All she there told him, ruing death for friend
so young, algate29 sore unwilling God's rightwiseness to withsay. She said
that he had a fair sweet death through God His goodness with masspriest
to be shriven, holy housel30 and sick men's oil to his limbs.31 The man then
right earnest asked the nun of which death the dead man was died and the
nun answered him and said that he was died in Mona Island32 through bellycrab33
three year agone come Childermas34 and she prayed to God the Allruthful to
have his dear soul in his undeathliness. He heard her sad words, in held hat
sad staring. So stood they there both awhile in wanhope sorrowing one with
other.

Therefore, everyman, look to that last end that is thy death and the dust 　 　　　　　Style 5
that gripeth on every man that is born of woman35 for as he came naked forth
from his mother's womb so naked shall he wend him at the last for to go as
he came.36

The man that was come in to the house then spoke to the nursingwoman and
he asked her how it fared with the woman that lay there in childbed. The
nursingwoman answered him and said that that woman was in throes now full
three days and that it would be a hard birth unneth37 to bear but that now
in a little it would be. She said thereto that she had seen many births
of women but never was none so hard as was that woman's birth. Then she
set it all forth to him for because she knew the man that time was had
lived nigh that house. The man hearkened to her words for he felt with
wonder women's woe in the travail that they have of motherhood and he
wondered to look on her face that was a fair face for any man to see but
yet was she left after long years a handmaid. Nine twelve bloodflows38
chiding her childless.

And whiles they spake the door of the castle was opened and there 　 　　　　　　 　　Style 6
nighed them a mickle noise as of many that sat there at meat. And there
came against the place as they stood a young learningknight yclept Dixon.39
And the traveller Leopold was couth to him sithen it had happed that they
had had ado each with other in the house of misericord40 where this learn-
ingknight lay by cause the traveller Leopold came there to be healed for
he was sore wounded in his breast by a spear wherewith a horrible and
dreadful dragon41 was smitten him for which he did do make a salve of vol-
atile salt and chrism as much as he might suffice. And he said now that
he should go in to that castle for to make merry with them that were there.
And the traveller Leopold said that he should go otherwhither for he was a
man of cautels42 and a subtile. Also the lady was of his avis43 and repreved44
the learningknight though she trowed well that the traveller had said thing
that was false for his subtility. But the learningknight would not hear say nay
nor do her mandement45 ne have him in aught contrarious to his list and he
said how it was a marvellous castle. And the traveller Leopold went into
the castle for to rest him for a space being sore of limb after many marches
environing in divers lands and sometime venery.

And in the castle was set a board that was of the birchwood of
Finlandy and it was upheld by four dwarfmen of that country but they
durst not move more for enchantment. And on this board were frightful
swords and knives that are made in a great cavern by swinking demons out
of white flames that they fix then in the horns of buffalos and stags that
there abound marvellously. And there were vessels that are wrought by
magic of Mahound46 out of seasand and the air by a warlock with his breath
that he blases in to them like to bubbles. And full fair cheer and rich was on
the board that no wight could devise a fuller ne richer. And there was a vat
of silver that was moved by craft to open in the which lay strange fishes
withouten heads though misbelieving men nie that this be possible thing
without they see it natheless they are so. And these fishes lie in an oily water
brought there from Portugal land because of the fatness that therein is like
to the juices of the olivepress.47 And also it was a marvel to see in that castle
how by magic they make a compost out of fecund wheatkidneys out of
Chaldee48 that by aid of certain angry spirits that they do in to it swells up
wondrously like to a vast mountain. And they teach the serpents there to
entwine themselves up on long sticks out of the ground and of the scales of
these serpents they brew out a brewage like to mead.49

And the learning knight let pour for childe Leopold a draught and halp50
thereto the while all they that were there drank every each. And childe 51
Leopold did up his beaver for to pleasure him and took apertly52 somewhat
in amity for he never drank no manner of mead which he then put by and
anon full privily he voided the more part in his neighbour glass and his
neighbour nist53 not of this wile. And he sat down in that castle with them
for to rest him there awhile. Thanked be Almighty God.

This meanwhile this good sister stood by the door and begged them at the 　 　　　　Style 7
reverence of Jesu our alther54 liege Lord to leave their wassailing for there
was above one quick with child, a gentle dame, whose time hied fast. Sir
Leopold heard on the upfloor cry on high and he wondered what cry that it
was whether of child or woman and I marvel, said he, that it be not come or
now. Meseems it dureth overlong. And he was ware and saw a franklin that
hight Lenehan on that side the table that was older than any of the tother
and for that they both were knights virtuous in the one emprise and eke by
cause that he was elder he spoke to him full gently. But, said he, or it be
long too she will bring forth by God His bounty and have joy of her childing
for she hath waited marvellous long. And the franklin that had drunken said,
Expecting each moment to be her next.55 Also he took the cup that stood
tofore him for him needed never none asking nor desiring of him to drink and,
Now drink, said he, fully delectably, and he quaffed as far as he might to
their both's health for he was a passing good man of his lustiness. And sir
Leopold that was the goodliest guest that ever sat in scholars' hall and that
was the meekest man and the kindest that ever laid husbandly hand under
hen and that was the very truest knight of the world one that ever did min-
ion service to lady gentle pledged him courtly in the cup. Woman's woe with
wonder pondering.

Now let us speak of that fellowship that was there to the intent to be
drunken an they might. There was a sort of scholars along either side the
board, that is to wit, Dixon yclept junior of saint Mary Merciable's56 with
other his fellows Lynch57 and Madden, scholars of medicine, and the franklin
that hight Lenehan and one from Alba Longa,58 one Crotthers, and young Ste-
phen that had mien of a frere that was at head of the board and Costello
that men clepen Punch Costello all long of a mastery of him erewhile ges-
ted59 (and of all them, reserved young Stephen, he was the most drunken
that demanded still of more mead) and beside the meek sir Leopold. But on
young Malachi they waited for that he promised to have come and such as
intended to no goodness said how he had broke his avow. And sir Leopold
sat with them for he bore fast friendship to sir Simon and to this his son
young Stephen and for that his languor becalmed him there after longest
wanderings insomuch as they feasted him for that time in the honourablest
manner. Ruth red60 him, love led on with will to wander, loth to leave.

For they were right witty scholars. And he heard their aresouns61 each
gen other as touching birth and righteousness, young Madden maintaining
that put such case it were hard the wife to die (for so it had fallen out
a matter of some year agone with a woman of Eblana62 in Horne's house
that now was trespassed out of this world and the self night next before her
death all leeches and pothecaries had taken counsel of her case). And they
said farther she should live because in the beginning, they said, the woman
should bring forth in pain63 and wherefore they that were of this imagination
affirmed how young Madden had said truth for he had conscience to let her
die. And not few and of these was young Lynch were in doubt that the
world was now right evil governed as it was never other howbeit the mean
people believed it otherwise but the law nor his judges did provide no
remedy. A redress64 God grant. This was scant said but all cried with one
acclaim nay, by our Virgin Mother, the wife should live and the babe to
die.65 In colour whereof they waxed hot upon that head what with argument
and what for their drinking but the franklin Lenehan was prompt each when
to pour them ale so that at the least way mirth might not lack. Then young
Madden showed all the whole affair and said how that she was dead and
how for holy religion sake by rede of palmer and bedesman and for a vow
he had made to Saint Ultan of Arbraccan66 her goodman husband would not
let her death whereby they were all wondrous grieved. To whom young Ste-
phen had these words following: Murmur, sirs, is eke oft among lay folk.
Both babe and parent now glorify their Maker, the one in limbo gloom, the
other in purgefire. But, gramercy, what of those Godpossibled souls that we
nightly impossibilise, which is the sin against the Holy Ghost,67 Very God,
Lord and Giver of Life? For, sirs, he said, our lust is brief. We are means
to those small creatures within us and nature has other ends than we. Then
said Dixon junior to Punch Costello wist he what ends. But he had over-
much drunken and the best word he could have of him was that he would ever
dishonest a woman whoso she were or wife or maid or leman if it so fortuned
him to be delivered of his spleen of lustihead.68 Whereat Crotthers of Alba
Longa sang young Malachi's praise of that beast the unicorn how once in
the millennium he cometh by his horn,69 the other all this while, pricked
forward with their jibes wherewith they did malice him, witnessing all
and several by saint Foutinus70 his engines that he was able to do any
manner of thing that lay in man to do. Thereat laughed they all right
jocundly only young Stephen and sir Leopold which never durst laugh too
open by reason of a strange humour which he would not bewray and also for
that he rued for her that bare whoso she might be or wheresoever. Then
spake young Stephen orgulous71 of mother Church that would cast him out
of her bosom, of law of canons, of Lilith, patron of abortions,72 of bigness
wrought by wind of seeds of brightness73 or by potency of vampires mouth
to mouth or, as Virgilius saith,74 by the influence of the occident75 or by the
reek of moonflower76 or an she lie with a woman which her man has but lain
with, effectu secuto,77 or peradventure in her bath according to the opini-
ons of Averroes and Moses Maimonides.78 He said also how at the end of the
second month a human soul was infused79 and how in all our holy mother fold-
eth ever souls for God's greater glory whereas that earthly mother which was
but a dam to bear beastly should die by canon for so saith he that holdeth
the fisherman's seal, even that blessed Peter on which rock was holy church
for all ages founded.80 All they bachelors then asked of sir Leopold would he
in like case so jeopard her person as risk life to save life. A wariness of
mind he would answer as fitted all and, laying hand to jaw, he said dissem-
bling, as his wont was, that as it was informed him, who had ever loved the
art of physic as might a layman, and agreeing also with his experience of
so seldomseen an accident it was good for that mother Church belike at one
blow had birth and death pence81 and in such sort deliverly he scaped their
questions. That is truth, pardy, said Dixon, and, or I err, a pregnant word.
Which hearing young Stephen was a marvellous glad man and he averred that
he who stealeth from the poor lendeth to the Lord82 for he was of a wild
manner when he was drunken and that he was now in that taking it appeared
eftsoons.

But sir Leopold was passing grave maugre his word by cause he still had
pity of the terrorcausing shrieking of shrill women in their labour and
as he was minded of his good lady Marion that had borne him an only man-
child which on his eleventh day on live had died and no man of art could
save so dark is destiny. And she was wondrous stricken of heart for that
evil hap and for his burial did him on a fair corselet of lamb's wool, the
flower of the flock, lest he might perish utterly and lie akeled83 (for it
was then about the midst of the winter) and now Sir Leopold that had of
his body no manchild for an heir looked upon him his friend's son and was
shut up in sorrow for his forepassed happiness and as sad as he was that
him failed a son of such gentle courage (for all accounted him of real parts)
so grieved he also in no less measure for young Stephen for that he lived
riotously with those wastrels and murdered his goods with whores.

About that present time young Stephen filled all cups that stood empty 　 　　　 　　 Style 8
so as there remained but little mo if the prudenter had not shadowed their
approach from him that still plied it very busily who, praying for the in-
tentions of the sovereign pontiff, he gave them for a pledge the vicar of
Christ which also as he said is vicar of Bray.84 Now drink we, quod he, of
this mazer and quaff ye this mead which is not indeed parcel of my body
but my soul's bodiment.85 Leave ye fraction of bread to them that live by
bread alone. Be not afeard neither for any want for this will comfort more
than the other will dismay. See ye here. And he showed them glistering
coins of the tribute and goldsmith notes the worth of two pound nineteen
shilling that he had, he said, for a song which he writ. They all admired
to see the foresaid riches in such dearth of money as was herebefore. His
words were then these as followeth: Know all men, he said, time's ruins
build eternity's mansions.86 What means this? Desire's wind blasts the thorn-
tree but after it becomes from a bramblebush to be a rose upon the rood of
time.87 Mark me now. In woman's womb word is made flesh but in the spirit of
the maker all flesh that passes becomes the word that shall not pass away.88
This is the postcreation. Omnis caro ad te veniet.89 No question but her
name is puissant who aventried the dear corse of our Agenbuyer, Healer
and Herd,90 our mighty mother and mother most venerable and Bernardus saith
aptly that She hath an Omnipotentiam deiparae supplicem,91 that is to wit,
an almightiness of petition because she is the second Eve and she won us,
saith Augustine too, whereas that other, our grandam, which we are linked
up with by successive anastomosis of navelcords sold us all, seed, breed
and generation, for a penny pippin.92 But here is the matter now. Or she
knew him, that second I say, and was but creature of her creature,93 Ver-
gine madre, figlia di tuo figlio,94 or she knew him not95 and then stands she
in the one denial or ignorancy with Peter Piscator96 who lives in the house
that Jack built and with Joseph the joiner patron of the happy demise of all
unhappy marriages,97 parceque M. Leo taxil nous a dit que qui l'avait mise
dans cette fichue position c'etait le sacre pigeon, ventre de Dieu! 98 Entweder
transubstantiality oder consubstantiality but in no case subsubstantiality.99
And all cried out upon it for a very scurvy word. A pregnancy without joy,
he said, a birth without pangs, a body without blemish, a belly without
bigness.100 Let the lewd with faith and fervour worship. With will will we
withstand, withsay.

Hereupon Punch Costello dinged with his fist upon the board and
would sing a bawdy catch Staboo stabella about a wench that was put in
pod101 of a jolly swashbuckler in Almany102 which he did straightways now
attack:

--The first three months she was not well, Staboo,103

when here nurse Quigley from the door angerly bid them hist ye should
shame you nor was it not meet as she remembered them being her mind was
to have all orderly against lord Andrew came for because she was jealous
that no gasteful104 turmoil might shorten the honour of her guard. It was an
ancient and a sad matron of a sedate look and christian walking, in habit
dun beseeming her megrims and wrinkled visage, nor did her hortative want
of it effect for incontinently Punch Costello was of them all embraided
and they reclaimed the churl with civil rudeness some and shaked him with
menace of blandishments others whiles they all chode105 with him, a murrain
seize the dolt, what a devil he would be at, thou chuff, thou puny, thou
got in peasestraw, thou losel, thou chitterling, thou spawn of a rebel,
thou dykedropt, thou abortion thou,106 to shut up his drunken drool out of
that like a curse of God ape, the good sir Leopold that had for his cog-
nisance the flower of quiet, margerain gentle,107 advising also the time's
occasion as most sacred and most worthy to be most sacred. In Horne's
house rest should reign.

To be short this passage was scarce by when Master Dixon of Mary in 　 　　　 　　　Style 9
Eccles, goodly grinning, asked young Stephen what was the reason why he
had not cided to take friar's vows and he answered him obedience in the
womb, chastity in the tomb but involuntary poverty all his days.108 Master
Lenehan at this made return that he had heard of those nefarious deeds
and how, as he heard hereof counted, he had besmirched the lily virtue of
a confiding female which was corruption of minors and they all intershowed109
it too, waxing merry and toasting to his fathership. But he said very en-
tirely it was clean contrary to their suppose for he was the eternal son and
ever virgin.110 Thereat mirth grew in them the more and they rehearsed to
him his curious rite of wedlock for the disrobing and deflowering of spouses,
as the priests use in Madagascar island, she to be in guise of white and
saffron, her groom in white and grain, with burning of nard and tapers, on
a bridebed while clerks sung kyries and the anthem Ut novetur sexus omnis
corporis mysterium111 till she was there unmaided.112 He gave them then a
much admirable hymen minim by those delicate poets Master John Fletcher
and Master Francis Beaumont that is in their Maid's Tragedy that was writ
for a like twining of lovers: To bed, to bed 113 was the burden of it to be played
with accompanable concent upon the virginals. An exquisite dulcet epitha-
lame of most mollificative suadency114 for juveniles amatory whom the odori-
ferous flambeaus of the paranymphs have escorted to the quadrupedal prosc-
enium of connubial communion. Well met they were, said Master Dixon, joyed,
but, harkee, young sir, better were they named Beau Mount115 and Lecher for,
by my troth, of such a mingling much might come. Young Stephen said indeed
to his best remembrance they had but the one doxy between them116 and she
of the stews to make shift with in delights amorous for life ran very high in
those days and the custom of the country117 approved with it. Greater love
than this, he said, no man hath that a man lay down his wife for his friend.118
Go thou and do likewise.119 Thus, or words to that effect, saith Zarathustra,
sometime regius professor of French letters120 to the university of Oxtail
nor breathed there ever that man to whom mankind was more beholden. Bring
a stranger within thy tower it will go hard but thou wilt have the second-
best bed. Orate, fratres, pro memetipso.121 And all the people shall say, Amen.
Remember, Erin, thy generations and thy days of old,122 how thou settedst lit-
tle by me and by my word and broughtedst in a stranger to my gates to commit
fornication in my sight123 and to wax fat and kick like Jeshurum.124 Therefore
hast thou sinned against my light and hast made me, thy lord, to be the
slave of servants.125 Return, return, Clan Milly: forget menot, O Milesian.126
Why hast thou done this abomination before me that thou didst spurn me for
a merchant of jalaps127 and didst deny me to the Roman and to the Indian of
dark speech with whom thy daughters did lie luxuriously?128 Look forth now,
my people, upon the land of behest, even from Horeb and from Nebo and from
Pisgah129 and from the Horns of Hatten130 unto a land flowing with milk and
money. But thou hast suckled me with a bitter milk: my moon and my sun thou
hast quenched for ever. And thou hast left me alone for ever in the dark ways
of my bitterness: and with a kiss of ashes hast thou kissed my mouth. This
tenebrosity of the interior, he proceeded to say, hath not been illumined by
the wit of the septuagint131 nor so much as mentioned for the Orient from
on high Which brake hell's gates visited a darkness that was foraneous.132
Assuefaction minorates atrocities133 (as Tully saith of his darling Stoics)
and Hamlet his father showeth the prince no blister of combustion.134 The
adiaphane in the noon of life is an Egypt's plague135 which in the nights of
prenativity and postmortemity is their most proper ubi and quomodo.136 And
as the ends and ultimates of all things accord in some mean and measure
with their inceptions and originals,137 that same multiplicit concordance
which leads forth growth from birth accomplishing by a retrogressive meta-
morphosis that minishing and ablation towards the final which is agreeable
unto nature so is it with our subsolar being. The aged sisters draw us into
life: we wail, batten, sport, clip, clasp, sunder, dwindle, die: over us dead they
bend.138 First, saved from waters of old Nile, among bulrushes, a bed of fas-
ciated wattles:139 at last the cavity of a mountain, an occulted sepulchre140
amid the conclamation of the hillcat and the ossifrage.141 And as no man
knows the ubicity of his tumulus142 nor to what processes we shall thereby
be ushered nor whether to Tophet143 or to Edenville in the like way is all hid-
den when we would backward see from what region of remoteness the what-
ness of our whoness hath fetched his whenceness.

Thereto Punch Costello roared out mainly Etienne chanson 144 but he loudly bid
them, lo, wisdom hath built herself a house,145 this vast majestic longstablished
vault, the crystal palace146 of the Creator, all in applepie order, a penny for
him who finds the pea.147

--Behold the mansion reared by Dedal Jack
See the malt stored in many a refluent sack,
In the proud cirque of Jackjohn's bivouac.148

A black crack of noise in the street here, alack, bawled back. Loud on
left Thor thundered: in anger awful the hammerhurler.149 Came now the storm
that hist his heart. And Master Lynch bade him have a care to flout and
witwanton as the god self was angered for his hellprate and paganry.
And he that had erst challenged to be so doughty waxed wan as they might
all mark and shrank together and his pitch that was before so haught150 up-
lift was now of a sudden quite plucked down and his heart shook within
the cage of his breast as he tasted the rumour of that storm. Then did
some mock and some jeer and Punch Costello fell hard again to his yale
which Master Lenehan vowed he would do after and he was indeed but a word
and a blow151 on any the least colour. But the braggart boaster cried that an
old Nobodaddy was in his cups it was muchwhat indifferent and he would not
lag behind his lead. But this was only to dye his desperation as cowed he
crouched in Horne's hall. He drank indeed at one draught to pluck up a
heart of any grace for it thundered long rumblingly over all the heavens
so that Master Madden, being godly certain whiles, knocked him on his ribs
upon that crack of doom and Master Bloom, at the braggart's side, spoke to
him calming words to slumber his great fear, advertising how it was no
other thing but a hubbub noise that he heard, the discharge of fluid from
the thunderhead,152 look you, having taken place, and all of the order of a
natural phenomenon.

But was young Boasthard's fear vanquished by Calmer's words? No, for he 　 　　　　Style 10
had in his bosom a spike named Bitterness which could not by words be
done away. And was he then neither calm like the one nor godly like the
other? He was neither as much as he would have liked to be either. But
could he not have endeavoured to have found again as in his youth the
bottle Holiness that then he lived withal? Indeed no for Grace was not
there to find that bottle. Heard he then in that clap the voice of the god
Bringforth153 or, what Calmer said, a hubbub of Phenomenon? Heard? Why,
he could not but hear unless he had plugged him up the tube Understanding
(which he had not done). For through that tube he saw that he was in the
land of Phenomenon where he must for a certain one day die as he was like
the rest too a passing show. And would he not accept to die like the rest
and pass away? By no means would he though he must nor would he make
more shows according as men do with wives which Phenomenon has com-
manded them to do by the book Law.154 Then wotted he nought of that other
land which is called Believe-on-Me,155 that is the land of promise which be-
hoves to the king Delightful and shall be for ever where there is no death
and no birth neither wiving nor mothering156 at which all shall come as many
as believe on it? Yes, Pious had told him of that land and Chaste had point-
ed him to the way but the reason was that in the way he fell in with a
certain whore of an eyepleasing exterior whose name, she said, is Bird-
in-the-Hand and she beguiled him wrongways from the true path by her
flatteries that she said to him as, Ho, you pretty man, turn aside hither
and I will show you a brave place, and she lay at him so flatteringly that
she had him in her grot which is named Two-in-the-Bush or, by some
learned, Carnal Concupiscence.

This was it what all that company that sat there at commons in Manse
of Mothers the most lusted after and if they met with this whore
Bird-in- the-Hand (which was within all foul plagues, monsters and a
wicked devil) they would strain the last but they would make at her and
know her. For regarding Believe-on-Me they said it was nought else but
notion and they could conceive no thought of it for, first, Two-in-the-Bush
whither she ticed them was the very goodliest grot and in it were four
pillows on which were four tickets with these words printed on them,
Pickaback and Topsyturvy and Shameface and Cheek by Jowl and, second,
for that foul plague Allpox and the monsters they cared not for them for
Preservative had given them a stout shield of oxengut and, third, that they
might take no hurt neither from Offspring that was that wicked devil by
virtue of this same shield which was named Killchild. So were they all in
their blind fancy, Mr Cavil and Mr Sometimes Godly, Mr Ape Swillale, Mr
False Franklin, Mr Dainty Dixon, Young Boasthard and Mr Cautious Calmer.
Wherein, O wretched company, were ye all deceived for that was
the voice of the god that was in a very grievous rage that he would presently
lift his arm up and spill their souls for their abuses and their spillings done
by them contrariwise to his word which forth to bring brenningly157 biddeth.

So Thursday sixteenth June Patk. Dignam laid in clay of an apoplexy and 　 　　　　　Style 11
after hard drought, please God, rained, a bargeman coming in by water
a fifty mile or thereabout with turf saying the seed won't sprout, fields
athirst, very sadcoloured and stunk mightily, the quags and tofts too. Hard
to breathe and all the young quicks clean consumed without sprinkle this
long while back as no man remembered to be without. The rosy buds all gone
brown and spread out blobs and on the hills nought but dry flag and faggots
that would catch at first fire. All the world saying, for aught they knew,
the big wind of last February a year that did havoc the land so pitifully158
a small thing beside this barrenness. But by and by, as said, this evening
after sundown, the wind sitting in the west, biggish swollen clouds to be
seen as the night increased and the weatherwise poring up at them and
some sheet lightnings at first and after, past ten of the clock, one great
stroke with a long thunder and in a brace of shakes all scamper pellmell
within door for the smoking shower, the men making shelter for their
straws with a clout or kerchief, womenfolk skipping off with kirtles catched
up soon as the pour came. In Ely place, Baggot street, Duke's lawn, thence
through Merrion green up to Holles street a swash of water flowing that
was before bonedry and not one chair or coach or fiacre seen about but
no more crack after that first. Over against the Rt. Hon. Mr Justice Fitz-
gibbon's door (that is to sit with Mr Healy the lawyer upon the college
lands) Mal. Mulligan a gentleman's gentleman that had but come from Mr
Moore's the writer's (that was a papish but is now, folk say, a good Wil-
liamite)159 chanced against Alec. Bannon in a cut bob160 (which are now in
with dance cloaks of Kendal green) that was new got to town from Mullin-
gar with the stage where his coz and Mal M's brother will stay a month
yet till Saint Swithin161 and asks what in the earth he does there, he bound
home and he to Andrew Horne's being stayed for to crush a cup of wine,
so he said, but would tell him of a skittish heifer, big of her age and beef
to the heel,162 and all this while poured with rain and so both together on
to Horne's. There Leop. Bloom of Crawford's journal sitting snug with a
covey of wags, likely brangling163 fellows, Dixon jun., scholar of my lady of
Mercy's,164 Vin. Lynch, a Scots fellow, Will. Madden, T. Lenehan, very sad
about a racer he fancied and Stephen D. Leop. Bloom there for a languor
he had but was now better, be having dreamed tonight a strange fancy of
his dame Mrs Moll with red slippers on in a pair of Turkey trunks which is
thought by those in ken to be for a change165 and Mistress Purefoy there,
that got in through pleading her belly,166 and now on the stools, poor body,
two days past her term, the midwives sore put to it and can't deliver, she
queasy for a bowl of riceslop167 that is a shrewd drier up of the insides and
her breath very heavy more than good and should be a bullyboy from the
knocks, they say, but God give her soon issue. 'Tis her ninth chick to live, I
hear, and Lady day168 bit off her last chick's nails169 that was then a twelve-
month and with other three all breastfed that died written out in a fair hand in
the king's bible.170 Her hub fifty odd and a methodist but takes the sacrament171
and is to be seen any fair sabbath with a pair of his boys off Bullock harbour
dapping on the sound172 with a heavybraked reel or in a punt he has trailing
for flounder and pollock and catches a fine bag, I hear. In sum an infinite
great fall of rain and all refreshed and will much increase the harvest yet
those in ken say after wind and water fire shall come173 for a prognostication
of Malachi's almanac174 (and I hear that Mr Russell has done a prophetical
charm of the same gist out of the Hindustanish for his farmer's gazette)175 to
have three things in all but this a mere fetch without bottom of reason for
old crones and bairns yet sometimes they are found in the right guess with
their queerities no telling how.

With this came up Lenehan to the feet of the table to say how the letter 　 　　　　 Style 12
was in that night's gazette and he made a show to find it about him (for
he swore with an oath that he had been at pains about it) but on Stephen's
persuasion he gave over the search and was bidden to sit near by which he
did mighty brisk. He was a kind of sport gentleman that went for176 a merry-
andrew or honest pickle177 and what belonged of women, horseflesh or hot
scandal he had it pat. To tell the truth he was mean in fortunes and
for the most part hankered about the coffeehouses and low taverns with
crimps, ostlers, bookies, Paul's men,178 runners, flatcaps, waistcoateers,179
ladies of the bagnio and other rogues of the game or with a chanceable
catchpole or a tipstaff often at nights till broad day of whom he picked
up between his sackpossets180 much loose gossip. He took his ordinary at a
boilingcook's181 and if he had but gotten into him a mess of broken victuals
or a platter of tripes with a bare tester182 in his purse he could always
bring himself off with his tongue, some randy quip he had from a punk183 or
whatnot that every mother's son of them would burst their sides. The other,
Costello that is, hearing this talk asked was it poetry or a tale. Faith,
no, he says, Frank (that was his name), 'tis all about Kerry cows184 that are
to be butchered along of the plague. But they can go hang, says he with a
wink, for me with their bully beef, a pox on it. There's as good fish in
this tin185 as ever came out of it and very friendly he offered to take of
some salty sprats that stood by which he had eyed wishly in the meantime
and found the place which was indeed the chief design of his embassy as
he was sharpset. Mort aux vaches,186 says Frank then in the French language
that had been indentured to a brandyshipper that has a winelodge in Bor-
deaux and he spoke French like a gentleman too. From a child this Frank
had been a donought that his father, a headborough, who could ill keep
him to school to learn his letters and the use of the globes, matricula-
ted at the university to study the mechanics but he took the bit between
his teeth like a raw colt and was more familiar with the justiciary and
the parish beadle than with his volumes. One time he would be a playactor,
then a sutler or a welsher, then nought would keep him from the bearpit187
and the cocking main, then he was for the ocean sea or to hoof it on the
roads with the romany folk,188 kidnapping a squire's heir by favour of moon-
light or fecking maids' linen or choking chicken behind a hedge. He had
been off as many times as a cat has lives and back again with naked pock-
ets as many more to his father the headborough who shed a pint of tears
as often as he saw him. What, says Mr Leopold with his hands across, that
was earnest to know the drift of it, will they slaughter all? I protest I saw
them but this day morning going to the Liverpool boats, says he. I can
scarce believe 'tis so bad, says he. And he had experience of the like
brood beasts and of springers, greasy hoggets189 and wether wool,190 hav-
ing been some years before actuary191 for Mr Joseph Cuffe, a worthy sales-
master that drove his trade for live stock and meadow auctions192 hard by
Mr Gavin Low's yard in Prussia street. I question with you there, says
he. More like 'tis the hoose or the timber tongue.193 Mr Stephen, a little
moved but very handsomely told him no such matter and that he had dis-
patches from the emperor's chief tailtickler thanking him for the hos-
pitality, that was sending over Doctor Rinderpest,194 the bestquoted cow-
catcher in all Muscovy, with a bolus or two of physic to take the bull by
the horns. Come, come, says Mr Vincent, plain dealing. He'll find himself
on the horns of a dilemma if he meddles with a bull that's Irish,195 says he.
Irish by name and irish by nature, says Mr Stephen, and he sent the ale
purling about, an Irish bull in an English chinashop. I conceive you, says　 　　　　　 Style 13
Mr Dixon. It is that same bull that was sent to our island by farmer Nich-
olas,196 the bravest cattlebreeder of them all, with an emerald ring197 in his
nose. True for you, says Mr Vincent cross the table, and a bullseye into the
bargain, says he, and a plumper and a portlier bull, says he, never shit on
shamrock. He had horns galore, a coat of cloth of gold and a sweet smoky
breath coming out of his nostrils so that the women of our island, leaving
doughballs and rollingpins, followed after him hanging his bulliness in
daisychains. What for that, says Mr Dixon, but before he came over farmer
Nicholas that was a eunuch had him properly gelded by a college of doctors198
who were no better off than himself. So be off now, says he, and do all my
cousin german the lord Harry199 tells you and take a farmer's blessing, and
with that he slapped his posteriors very soundly. But the slap and the
blessing stood him friend, says Mr Vincent, for to make up he taught him a
trick worth two of the other so that maid, wife, abbess and widow to this
day affirm that they would rather any time of the month whisper in his ear
in the dark of a cowhouse200 or get a lick on the nape from his long holy
tongue than lie with the finest strapping young ravisher in the four fields of
all Ireland.201 Another then put in his word: And they dressed him, says he, in
a point shift202 and petticoat with a tippet and girdle and ruffles on his wrists
and clipped his forelock and rubbed him all over with spermacetic oil203 and
built stables for him at every turn of the road with a gold manger in each
full of the best hay in the market so that he could doss and dung to his
heart's content. By this time the father of the faithful204 (for so they called
him) was grown so heavy that he could scarce walk to pasture. To remedy
which our cozening dames and damsels brought him his fodder in their
apronlaps and as soon as his belly was full he would rear up on his hind
quarters to show their ladyships a mystery and roar and bellow out of him
in bulls' language and they all after him. Ay, says another, and so pampered
was he that he would suffer nought to grow in all the land but green grass
for himself (for that was the only colour to his mind) and there was a board
put up on a hillock in the middle of the island with a printed notice, saying:
By the Lord Harry,205 Green is the grass that grows on the ground. And, says
Mr Dixon, if ever he got scent of a cattleraider in Roscommon or the wilds
of Connemara or a husbandman in Sligo206 that was sowing as much as a
handful of mustard or a bag of rapeseed out he'd run amok over half the
countryside rooting up with his horns whatever was planted and all by lord
Harry's orders. There was bad blood between them at first, says Mr Vin-
cent, and the lord Harry called farmer Nicholas all the old Nicks207 in the
world and an old whoremaster208 that kept seven trulls209 in his house and
I'll meddle in his matters, says he. I'll make that animal smell hell, says he, with
the help of that good pizzle210 my father left me. But one evening, says Mr
Dixon, when the lord Harry was cleaning his royal pelt211 to go to dinner
after winning a boatrace (he had spade oars for himself but the first rule of
the course was that the others were to row with pitchforks) he discovered
in himself a wonderful likeness to a bull and on picking up a blackthumbed
chapbook212 that he kept in the pantry he found sure enough that he was a
lefthanded descendant213 of the famous champion bull of the Romans,214 Bos
Bovum,215 which is good bog Latin for boss of the show. After that, says Mr
Vincent, the lord Harry put his head into a cow's drinkingtrough216 in the
presence of all his courtiers and pulling it out again told them all his new
name.217 Then, with the water running off him, he got into an old smock and
skirt that had belonged to his grandmother and bought a grammar of the
bulls' language218 to study but he could never learn a word of it except the
first personal pronoun which he copied out big and got off by heart and if
ever he went out for a walk he filled his pockets with chalk to write it upon
what took his fancy, the side of a rock or a teahouse table or a bale of cot-
ton or a corkfloat. In short, he and the bull of Ireland219 were soon as fast
friends as an arse and a shirt. They were, says Mr Stephen, and the end was
that the men of the island seeing no help was toward, as the ungrate women
were all of one mind, made a wherry raft, loaded themselves and their bundles
of chattels on shipboard, set all masts erect, manned the yards, sprang their
luff, heaved to, spread three sheets in the wind,220 put her head between
wind and water, weighed anchor, ported her helm, ran up the jolly Roger,221
gave three times three,222 let the bullgine run,223 pushed off in their
bumboat and put to sea to recover the main of America. Which was the
occasion, says Mr Vincent, of the composing by a boatswain of that
rollicking chanty:

--Pope Peter's but a pissabed.
A man's a man for a' that. 224

Our worthy acquaintance Mr Malachi Mulligan now appeared in the 　 　 　　　　 　　　Style 14
doorway as the students were finishing their apologue accompanied with a
friend whom he had just rencountered, a young gentleman, his name Alec
Bannon, who had late come to town, it being his intention to buy a colour
or a cornetcy in the fencibles225 and list for the wars. Mr Mulligan was civil
enough to express some relish of it all the more as it jumped with a project
of his own for the cure of the very evil that had been touched on. Whereat
he handed round to the company a set of pasteboard cards which he had had
printed that day at Mr Quinnell's bearing a legend printed in fair italics: Mr
Malachi Mulligan. Fertiliser and Incubator. Lambay island. 226 His project, as
he went on to expound, was to withdraw from the round of idle pleasures
such as form the chief business of sir Fopling Popinjay and sir Milksop
Quidnunc227 in town and to devote himself to the noblest task for which
our bodily organism has been framed. Well, let us hear of it, good my friend,
said Mr Dixon. I make no doubt it smacks of wenching. Come, be seated,
both. 'Tis as cheap sitting as standing.228 Mr Mulligan accepted of the in-
vitation and, expatiating upon his design, told his hearers that he had been
led into this thought by a consideration of the causes of sterility, both
the inhibitory and the prohibitory, whether the inhibition in its turn were
due to conjugal vexations or to a parsimony of the balance as well as
whether the prohibition proceeded from defects congenital or from
proclivities acquired. It grieved him plaguily, he said, to see the nuptial
couch defrauded of its dearest pledges:229 and to reflect upon so many
agreeable females with rich jointures, a prey to the vilest bonzes,230 who
hide their flambeau under a bushel231 in an uncongenial cloister or lose their
womanly bloom in the embraces of some unaccountable muskin232 when they
might multiply the inlets of happiness, sacrificing the inestimable jewel of
their sex when a hundred pretty fellows were at hand to caress, this, he
assured them, made his heart weep. To curb this inconvenient (which he
concluded due to a suppression of latent heat), having advised with certain
counsellors of worth and inspected into this matter, he had resolved to
purchase in fee simple for ever the freehold of Lambay island from its
holder, lord Talbot de Malahide, a Tory gentleman of note much in favour
with our ascendancy party.233 He proposed to set up there a national
fertilising farm234 to be named Omphalos with an obelisk hewn and erected
after the fashion of Egypt235 and to offer his dutiful yeoman services for the
fecundation of any female of what grade of life soever who should there
direct to him with the desire of fulfilling the functions of her natural.
Money was no object, he said, nor would he take a penny for his pains. The
poorest kitchenwench no less than the opulent lady of fashion, if so be their
constructions and their tempers were warm persuaders for their petitions,
would find in him their man. For his nutriment he shewed how he would
feed himself exclusively upon a diet of savoury tubercles and fish and
coneys there, the flesh of these latter prolific rodents being highly
recommended for his purpose, both broiled and stewed with a blade of
mace and a pod or two of capsicum chillies. After this homily which he
delivered with much warmth of asseveration Mr Mulligan in a trice put off
from his hat a kerchief with which he had shielded it. They both, it seems,
had been overtaken by the rain and for all their mending their pace had
taken water, as might be observed by Mr Mulligan's smallclothes of a
hodden grey which was now somewhat piebald. His project meanwhile was
very favourably entertained by his auditors and won hearty eulogies from
all though Mr Dixon of Mary's excepted to it, asking with a finicking air
did he purpose also to carry coals to Newcastle.236 Mr Mulligan however
made court to the scholarly by an apt quotation from the classics which,
as it dwelt upon his memory, seemed to him a sound and tasteful support
of his contention: Talis ac tanta depravatio hujus seculi, o quirites, ut
matresfamiliarum nostrae lascivas cujuslibet Semiviri libici titillationes
testibus ponderosis atque excelsis erectionibus centurionum romano-
rum magnopere Anteponunt,237 while for those of ruder wit he drove home
his point by analogies of the animal kingdom more suitable to their sto-
mach, the buck and doe of the forest glade, the farmyard drake and duck.

Valuing himself not a little upon his elegance, being indeed a proper
man of person, this talkative now applied himself to his dress with
animadversions of some heat upon the sudden whimsy of the atmospherics
while the company lavished their encomiums upon the project he had ad-
vanced. The young gentleman, his friend, overjoyed as he was at a pass-
age that had late befallen him, could not forbear to tell it his nearest
neighbour. Mr Mulligan, now perceiving the table, asked for whom were
those loaves and fishes and, seeing the stranger, he made him a civil bow
and said, Pray, sir, was you in need of any professional assistance we could
give? Who, upon his offer, thanked him very heartily, though preserving his
proper distance, and replied that he was come there about a lady, now an
inmate of Horne's house, that was in an interesting condition, poor body,
from woman's woe (and here he fetched a deep sigh) to know if her happi-
ness had yet taken place. Mr Dixon, to turn the table, took on to ask of
Mr Mulligan himself whether his incipient ventripotence,238 upon which he
rallied him, betokened an ovoblastic gestation in the prostatic utricle239 or
male womb or was due, as with the noted physician, Mr Austin Meldon, to
a wolf in the stomach. For answer Mr Mulligan, in a gale of laughter at his
smalls, smote himself bravely below the diaphragm, exclaiming with an
admirable droll mimic of Mother Grogan (the most excellent creature of
her sex though 'tis pity she's a trollop): There's a belly that never bore a
bastard. This was so happy a conceit that it renewed the storm of mirth and
threw the whole room into the most violent agitations of delight. The spry
rattle had run on in the same vein of mimicry but for some larum in the
antechamber.

Here the listener who was none other than the Scotch student, a little 　　 　　　　 Style 15
fume of a fellow, blond as tow, congratulated in the liveliest fashion with
the young gentleman and, interrupting the narrative at a salient point, ha-
ving desired his visavis with a polite beck to have the obligingness to pass
him a flagon of cordial waters at the same time by a questioning poise of the
head (a whole century of polite breeding had not achieved so nice a gesture)
to which was united an equivalent but contrary balance of the bottle asked
the narrator as plainly as was ever done in words if he might treat him with
a cup of it. Mais bien sur, noble stranger, said he cheerily, Et mille compli-
ments.240 That you may and very opportunely. There wanted nothing but
this cup to crown my felicity. But, gracious heaven, was I left with but a
crust in my wallet and a cupful of water from the well, my God, I would
accept of them and find it in my heart to kneel down upon the ground and
give thanks to the powers above for the happiness vouchsafed me by the
Giver of good things. With these words he approached the goblet to his lips,
took a complacent draught of the cordial, slicked his hair and, opening his
bosom, out popped a locket that hung from a silk riband, that very picture
which he had cherished ever since her hand had wrote therein. Gazing upon
those features with a world of tenderness, Ah, Monsieur, he said, had you
but beheld her as I did with these eyes at that affecting instant with her
dainty tucker and her new coquette cap (a gift for her feastday as she told
me prettily) in such an artless disorder, of so melting a tenderness, ‘pon
my conscience, even you, Monsieur, had been impelled by generous nature to
deliver yourself wholly into the hands of such an enemy or to quit the field
for ever. I declare, I was never so touched in all my life. God, I thank
thee, as the Author of my days! Thrice happy will he be whom so amiable a
creature will bless with her favours. A sigh of affection gave eloquence to
these words and, having replaced the locket in his bosom, he wiped his eye
and sighed again. Beneficent Disseminator of blessings to all Thy creatures,
how great and universal must be that sweetest of Thy tyrannies which can
hold in thrall the free and the bond, the simple swain and the polished
coxcomb, the lover in the heyday of reckless passion and the husband of
maturer years. But indeed, sir, I wander from the point. How mingled and
imperfect are all our sublunary joys. Maledicity! he exclaimed in anguish.
Would to God that foresight had but remembered me to take my cloak along!
I could weep to think of it. Then, though it had poured seven showers, we
were neither of us a penny the worse. But beshrew me, he cried, clapping
hand to his forehead, tomorrow will be a new day and, thousand thunders,
I know of a marchand de capotes,241 Monsieur Poyntz, from whom I can have
for a livre as snug a cloak of the French fashion as ever kept a lady
from wetting. Tut, tut! cries Le Fecondateur,242 tripping in, my friend Mon-
sieur Moore, that most accomplished traveller (I have just cracked a half
bottle avec lui 243 in a circle of the best wits of the town), is my authority
that in Cape Horn, ventre biche,244 they have a rain that will wet through
any, even the stoutest cloak. A drenching of that violence, he tells me,
sans blague,245 has sent more than one luckless fellow in good earnest
posthaste to another world. Pooh! A livre! cries Monsieur Lynch. The
clumsy things are dear at a sou. One umbrella,246 were it no bigger than a
fairy mushroom, is worth ten such stopgaps. No woman of any wit would
wear one. My dear Kitty told me today that she would dance in a deluge
before ever she would starve in such an ark of salvation for, as she
reminded me (blushing piquantly and whispering in my ear though there
was none to snap her words but giddy butterflies), dame Nature, by the
divine blessing, has implanted it in our hearts and it has become a house-
hold word that il y a deux choses 247 for which the innocence of our
original garb, in other circumstances a breach of the proprieties, is the
fittest, nay, the only garment. The first, said she (and here my pretty
philosopher, as I handed her to her tilbury, to fix my attention, gently
tipped with her tongue the outer chamber of my ear), the first is a bath -
But at this point a bell tinkling in the hall cut short a discourse which
promised so bravely for the enrichment of our store of knowledge.248

Amid the general vacant hilarity of the assembly a bell rang and, while 　　 　　　　　 Style 16
all were conjecturing what might be the cause, Miss Callan entered and,
having spoken a few words in a low tone to young Mr Dixon, retired with
a profound bow to the company. The presence even for a moment among a
party of debauchees of a woman endued with every quality of modesty and
not less severe than beautiful refrained the humourous sallies even of
the most licentious but her departure was the signal for an outbreak of
ribaldry. Strike me silly, said Costello, a low fellow who was fuddled.
A monstrous fine bit of cowflesh! I'll be sworn she has rendezvoused you.
What, you dog? Have you a way with them? Gad's bud,249 immensely so, said
Mr Lynch. The bedside manner it is that they use in the Mater hospice.
Demme,250 does not Doctor O'Gargle chuck the nuns there under the chin.
As I look to be saved I had it from my Kitty who has been wardmaid there
any time these seven months. Lawksamercy, doctor, cried the young blood
in the primrose vest, feigning a womanish simper and with immodest
squirmings of his body, how you do tease a body! Drat the man! Bless
me, I'm all of a wibbly wobbly. Why, you're as bad as dear little Father
Cantekissem, that you are! May this pot of four251 half choke me, cried
Costello, if she aint in the family way. I knows a lady what's got a white
swelling quick as I claps eyes on her. The young surgeon, however, rose
and begged the company to excuse his retreat as the nurse had just then
informed him that he was needed in the ward. Merciful providence had been
pleased to put a period to the sufferings of the lady who was Enceinte252
which she had borne with a laudable fortitude and she had given birth to
a bouncing boy. I want patience, said he, with those who, without wit to
enliven or learning to instruct, revile an ennobling profession which,
saving the reverence due to the Deity, is the greatest power for happiness
upon the earth. I am positive when I say that if need were I could produce
a cloud of witnesses253 to the excellence of her noble exercitations which,
so far from being a byword, should be a glorious incentive in the human
breast. I cannot away with them. What? Malign such an one, the amiable
Miss Callan, who is the lustre of her own sex and the astonishment of
ours? And at an instant the most momentous that can befall a puny child
of clay? Perish the thought! I shudder to think of the future of a race
where the seeds of such malice have been sown and where no right rever-
ence is rendered to mother and maid in house of Horne. Having delivered
himself of this rebuke he saluted those present on the by254 and repaired to
the door. A murmur of approval arose from all and some were for ejecting
the low soaker without more ado, a design which would have been effected nor
would he have received more than his bare deserts had he not abridged his
transgression by affirming with a horrid imprecation (for he swore a round
hand)255 that he was as good a son of the true fold as ever drew breath. Stap256
my vitals, said he, them was always the sentiments of honest Frank Costello
which I was bred up most particular to honour thy father and thy mother
that had the best hand to a rolypoly or a hasty pudding as you ever see what
I always looks back on with a loving heart.

To revert to Mr Bloom who, after his first entry, had been conscious of 　　 　　　　Style 17
some impudent mocks which he however had borne with as being the fruits
of that age upon which it is commonly charged that it knows not pity. The
young sparks, it is true, were as full of extravagancies as overgrown chi-
ldren: the words of their tumultuary discussions were difficultly under-
stood and not often nice: their testiness and outrageous mots were such
that his intellects resiled from: nor were they scrupulously sensible of
the proprieties though their fund of strong animal spirits spoke in their
behalf. But the word of Mr Costello was an unwelcome language for him
for he nauseated the wretch that seemed to him a cropeared creature of a
misshapen gibbosity, born out of wedlock and thrust like a crookback tooth-
ed and feet first into the world,257 which the dint of the surgeon's pliers
in his skull lent indeed a colour to, so as to put him in thought of that
missing link of creation's chain desiderated by the late ingenious Mr Darwin.
It was now for more than the middle span of our allotted years that he had
passed through the thousand vicissitudes of existence and, being of a wary
ascendancy and self a man of rare forecast, he had enjoined his heart to
repress all motions of a rising choler and, by intercepting them with the
readiest precaution, foster within his breast that plenitude of sufferance
which base minds jeer at, rash judgers scorn and all find tolerable and but
tolerable. To those who create themselves wits at the cost of feminine
delicacy (a habit of mind which he never did hold with) to them he would
concede neither to bear the name nor to herit the tradition of a proper
breeding: while for such that, having lost all forbearance, can lose no more,
there remained the sharp antidote of experience to cause their insolency to
beat a precipitate and inglorious retreat. Not but what he could feel with
mettlesome youth which, caring nought for the mows of dotards or the grunt-
lings of the severe, is ever (as the chaste fancy of the Holy Writer express-
es it) for eating of the tree forbid it yet not so far forth as to pretermit
humanity upon any condition soever towards a gentlewoman when she was about
her lawful occasions. To conclude, while from the sister's words he had reck-
oned upon a speedy delivery he was, however, it must be owned, not a little
alleviated by the intelligence that the issue so auspicated after an ordeal
of such duress now testified once more to the mercy as well as to the bounty
of the Supreme Being.

Accordingly he broke his mind to his neighbour, saying that, to express 　　 　　 　　Style 18
his notion of the thing, his opinion (who ought not perchance to express
one) was that one must have a cold constitution and a frigid genius not
to be rejoiced by this freshest news of the fruition of her confinement
since she had been in such pain through no fault of hers. The dressy young
blade said it was her husband's that put her in that expectation or at least
it ought to be unless she were another Ephesian matron.258 I must acquaint
you, said Mr Crotthers, clapping on the table so as to evoke a resonant com-
ment of emphasis, old Glory Allelujurum259 was round again today, an elderly
man with dundrearies,260 preferring through his nose a request to have word of
Wilhelmina, my life, as he calls her. I bade him hold himself in readiness for
that the event would burst anon. ‘Slife, I'll be round with you. I cannot but
extol the virile potency of the old bucko that could still knock another child
out of her. All fell to praising of it, each after his own fashion, though the
same young blade held with his former view that another than her conjugial
had been the man in the gap, a clerk in orders, a linkboy (virtuous) or an
itinerant vendor of articles needed in every household. Singular, communed
the guest with himself, the wonderfully unequal faculty of metempsychosis
possessed by them, that the puerperal dormitory and the dissecting theatre
should be the seminaries of such frivolity, that the mere acquisition of
academic titles should suffice to transform in a pinch of time these vota-
ries of levity into exemplary practitioners of an art which most men anywise
eminent have esteemed the noblest.261 But, he further added, it is mayhap to
relieve the pentup feelings that in common oppress them for I have more
than once observed that birds of a feather laugh together.

But with what fitness, let it be asked of the noble lord, his patron,262 has 　 　　　 　Style 19
this alien, whom the concession of a gracious prince has admitted to civic
rights,263 constituted himself the lord paramount of our internal polity? Where
is now that gratitude which loyalty should have counselled? During the re-
cent war whenever the enemy had a temporary advantage with his granados264
did this traitor to his kind not seize that moment to discharge his piece
against the empire of which he is a tenant at will while he trembled for
the security of his four per cents? Has he forgotten this as he forgets all
benefits received? Or is it that from being a deluder of others he has become
at last his own dupe as he is, if report belie him not, his own and his only
enjoyer? Far be it from candour to violate the bedchamber of a respectable
lady, the daughter of a gallant major, or to cast the most distant reflections
upon her virtue but if he challenges attention there (as it was indeed highly
his interest not to have done) then be it so. Unhappy woman, she has been
too long and too persistently denied her legitimate prerogative to listen to
his objurgations with any other feeling than the derision of the desperate.
He says this, a censor of morals, a very pelican in his piety,265 who did not
scruple, oblivious of the ties of nature, to attempt illicit intercourse
with a female domestic drawn from the lowest strata of society! Nay, had
the hussy's scouringbrush not been her tutelary angel, it had gone with her
as hard as with Hagar, the Egyptian!266 In the question of the grazing lands
his peevish asperity is notorious and in Mr Cuffe's hearing brought upon
him from an indignant rancher a scathing retort couched in terms as
straightforward as they were bucolic. It ill becomes him to preach that
gospel. Has he not nearer home a seedfield that lies fallow for the want of
the ploughshare? A habit reprehensible at puberty is second nature and an
opprobrium in middle life. If he must dispense his balm of Gilead267 in nostrums
and apothegms of dubious taste to restore to health a generation of unfledged
profligates let his practice consist better with the doctrines that now
engross him. His marital breast is the repository of secrets which decorum
is reluctant to adduce. The lewd suggestions of some faded beauty may
console him for a consort neglected and debauched but this new exponent
of morals and healer of ills is at his best an exotic tree which, when
rooted in its native orient, throve and flourished and was abundant in
balm but, transplanted to a clime more temperate, its roots have lost
their quondam vigour while the stuff that comes away from it is stagnant,
acid and inoperative.

The news was imparted with a circumspection recalling the ceremonial 　　 　 　　　Style 20
usage of the Sublime Porte268 by the second female infirmarian to the ju-
nior medical officer in residence, who in his turn announced to the
delegation that an heir had been born, When he had betaken himself to the
women's apartment to assist at the prescribed ceremony of the afterbirth in
the presence of the secretary of state for domestic affairs and the members
of the privy council, silent in unanimous exhaustion and approbation the
delegates, chafing under the length and solemnity of their vigil and hoping
that the joyful occurrence would palliate a licence which the simultaneous
absence of abigail269 and obstetrician rendered the easier, broke out at once
into a strife of tongues.270 In vain the voice of Mr Canvasser Bloom was heard
endeavouring to urge, to mollify, to refrain. The moment was too propitious
for the display of that discursiveness which seemed the only bond of union
among tempers so divergent. Every phase of the situation was successively
eviscerated: the prenatal repugnance of uterine brothers,271 the Caesarean
section, posthumity with respect to the father and, that rarer form, with
respect to the mother, the fratricidal case known as the Childs Murder and
rendered memorable by the impassioned plea of Mr Advocate Bushe which se-
cured the acquittal of the wrongfully accused, the rights of primogeniture
and king's bounty touching twins and triplets, miscarriages and infanti-
cides, simulated or dissimulated, the acardiac Foetus In foetu272 and apro-
sopia due to a congestion, the agnathia273 of certain chinless Chinamen
(cited by Mr Candidate Mulligan) in consequence of defective reunion of
the maxillary knobs along the medial line so that (as he said) one ear could
hear what the other spoke, the benefits of anesthesia or twilight sleep, the
prolongation of labour pains in advanced gravidancy by reason of pressure
on the vein, the premature relentment of the amniotic fluid (as exemplified
in the actual case) with consequent peril of sepsis to the matrix, artificial
insemination by means of syringes, involution of the womb consequent upon
the menopause,274 the problem of the perpetration of the species in the case
of females impregnated by delinquent rape, that distressing manner of de-
livery called by the Brandenburghers Sturzgeburt,275 the recorded instances
of multiseminal, twikindled and monstrous births conceived during the cata-
menic period or of consanguineous parents276 --in a word all the cases of
human nativity which Aristotle has classified in his masterpiece with
chromolithographic illustrations. The gravest problems of obstetrics and
forensic medicine were examined with as much animation as the most popu-
lar beliefs on the state of pregnancy such as the forbidding to a gravid
woman to step over a countrystile lest, by her movement, the navelcord
should strangle her creature277 and the injunction upon her in the event of
a yearning, ardently and ineffectually entertained, to place her hand against
that part of her person which long usage has consecrated as the seat of
castigation.278 The abnormalities of harelip, breastmole, supernumerary digits,
negro's inkle, strawberry mark and portwine stain279 were alleged by one as a
Prima facie and natural hypothetical explanation of those swineheaded (the
case of Madame Grissel Steevens280 was not forgotten) or doghaired infants
occasionally born. The hypothesis of a plasmic memory,281 advanced by the
Caledonian envoy and worthy of the metaphysical traditions of the land he
stood for,282 envisaged in such cases an arrest of embryonic development at
some stage antecedent to the human. An outlandish delegate sustained
against both these views, with such heat as almost carried conviction, the
theory of copulation between women and the males of brutes, his authority
being his own avouchment in support of fables such as that of the Minotaur
which the genius of the elegant Latin poet has handed down to us in the
pages of his Metamorphoses.283 The impression made by his words was im-
mediate but shortlived. It was effaced as easily as it had been evoked by an
allocution from Mr Candidate Mulligan in that vein of pleasantry which none
better than he knew how to affect, postulating as the supremest object
of desire a nice clean old man.284 Contemporaneously, a heated argument
having arisen between Mr Delegate Madden and Mr Candidate Lynch regard-
ing the juridical and theological dilemma created in the event of one
Siamese twin predeceasing the other,285 the difficulty by mutual consent
was referred to Mr Canvasser Bloom for instant submittal to Mr Coadjutor
Deacon Dedalus. Hitherto silent, whether the better to show by preter-
natural gravity that curious dignity of the garb with which he was
invested or in obedience to an inward voice, he delivered briefly and,
as some thought, perfunctorily the ecclesiastical ordinance forbidding
man to put asunder what God has joined.286

But Malachias' tale began to freeze them with horror. He conjured up the 　　 　 　Style 21
scene before them. The secret panel beside the chimney slid back and in
the recess appeared . . . Haines! Which of us did not feel his flesh creep!
He had a portfolio full of Celtic literature287 in one hand, in the other a
phial marked Poison. Surprise, horror, loathing were depicted on all faces
while he eyed them with a ghostly grin. I anticipated some such reception,
he began with an eldritch laugh, for which, it seems, history is to blame.
Yes, it is true. I am the murderer of Samuel Childs. And how I am punished!
The inferno has no terrors for me. This is the appearance is on me.288 Tare
and ages,289 what way would I be resting at all, he muttered thickly, and I tramp-
ing Dublin this while back with my share of songs290 and himself after me the
like of a soulth291 or a bullawurrus?292 My hell, and Ireland's, is in this life.
It is what I tried to obliterate my crime. Distractions, rookshooting, the
Erse language293 (he recited some), laudanum (he raised the phial to his lips),
camping out. In vain! His spectre stalks me. Dope is my only hope . . . Ah!
Destruction! The black panther! With a cry he suddenly vanished and the pa-
nel slid back. An instant later his head appeared294 in the door opposite and
said: Meet me at Westland Row station at ten past eleven. He was gone.
Tears gushed from the eyes of the dissipated host. The seer raised his
hand to heaven, murmuring: The vendetta of Mananaun!295 The sage repeated:
Lex Talionis. The sentimentalist is he who would enjoy without incurring
the immense debtorship for a thing done. Malachias, overcome by emotion,
ceased. The mystery was unveiled. Haines was the third brother. His real
name was Childs. The black panther was himself the ghost of his own fath-
er. He drank drugs to obliterate. For this relief much thanks. The lonely
house by the graveyard296 is uninhabited. No soul will live there. The spi-
der pitches her web in the solitude. The nocturnal rat peers from his
hole. A curse is on it. It is haunted. Murderer's ground.

What is the age of the soul of man? As she hath the virtue of the 　　 　 　　 　　　Style 22
chameleon to change her hue at every new approach, to be gay with the
merry and mournful with the downcast, so too is her age changeable as her
mood. No longer is Leopold, as he sits there, ruminating, chewing the cud
of reminiscence, that staid agent of publicity and holder of a modest
substance in the funds. A score of years are blown away. He is young
Leopold. There, as in a retrospective arrangement, a mirror within a mirror
(hey, presto!), he beholdeth himself. That young figure of then is seen,
precociously manly, walking on a nipping morning from the old house in
Clanbrassil street to the high school, his booksatchel on him bandolierwise,
and in it a goodly hunk of wheaten loaf, a mother's thought. Or it is the
same figure, a year or so gone over, in his first hard hat297 (ah, that was a
day!), already on the road, a fullfledged traveller for the family firm,
equipped with an orderbook, a scented handkerchief (not for show only),
his case of bright trinketware (alas! a thing now of the past!) and a
quiverful of compliant smiles for this or that halfwon housewife reckoning
it out upon her fingertips or for a budding virgin, shyly acknowledging (but
the heart? tell me!) his studied baisemoins.298 The scent, the smile, but, more
than these, the dark eyes and oleaginous address, brought home at duskfall
many a commission to the head of the firm, seated with Jacob's pipe299 after
like labours in the paternal ingle (a meal of noodles, you may be sure, is
aheating), reading through round horned spectacles some paper from the
Europe of a month before. But hey, presto, the mirror is breathed on and
the young knighterrant recedes, shrivels, dwindles to a tiny speck within the
mist. Now he is himself paternal and these about him might be his sons.
Who can say? The wise father knows his own child.300 He thinks of a
drizzling night in Hatch street, hard by the bonded stores there, the first.
Together (she is a poor waif, a child of shame, yours and mine and of all for
a bare shilling and her luckpenny), together they hear the heavy tread of the
watch as two raincaped shadows pass the new royal university. Bridie!
Bridie Kelly! He will never forget the name, ever remember the night: first
night, the bridenight. They are entwined in nethermost darkness, the willer
with the willed, and in an instant (fiat!) light shall flood the world.301 Did
heart leap to heart? Nay, fair reader. In a breath 'twas done but --hold!
Back! It must not be! In terror the poor girl flees away through the murk.
She is the bride of darkness, a daughter of night. She dare not bear the
sunnygolden babe of day. No, Leopold. Name and memory solace thee not.
That youthful illusion of thy strength was taken from thee --and in vain.
No son of thy loins is by thee. There is none now to be for Leopold, what
Leopold was for Rudolph.

The voices blend and fuse in clouded silence: silence that is the infi　　 　 　　　　Style 23
nite of space: and swiftly, silently the soul is wafted over regions of
cycles of generations that have lived. A region where grey twilight ever
descends, never falls on wide sagegreen pasturefields, shedding her dusk,
scattering a perennial dew of stars. She follows her mother with ungainly
steps, a mare leading her fillyfoal. Twilight phantoms are they, yet moulded
in prophetic grace of structure, slim shapely haunches, a supple tendonous
neck, the meek apprehensive skull. They fade, sad phantoms: all is gone. Ag-
endath is a waste land, a home of screechowls302 and the sandblind upupa303.
Netaim, the golden, is no more. And on the highway of the clouds they
come, muttering thunder of rebellion, the ghosts of beasts.304 Huuh! Hark!
Huuh! Parallax stalks behind and goads them,305 the lancinating lightnings
of whose brow are scorpions.306 Elk and yak, the bulls of Bashan and of
Babylon,307 mammoth and mastodon, they come trooping to the sunken sea,
Lacus mortis.308 Ominous revengeful zodiacal host! They moan, passing upon
the clouds, horned and capricorned, the trumpeted with the tusked, the
lionmaned, the giantantlered, snouter and crawler, rodent, ruminant and
pachyderm, all their moving moaning multitude, murderers of the sun.

Onward to the dead sea they tramp to drink, unslaked and with horrible
gulpings, the salt somnolent inexhaustible flood. And the equine portent
grows again, magnified in the deserted heavens, nay to heaven's own mag-
nitude, till it looms, vast, over the house of Virgo.309 And lo, wonder of
metempsychosis, it is she, the everlasting bride, harbinger of the daystar,
the bride, ever virgin. It is she, Martha, thou lost one, Millicent, the
young, the dear, the radiant. How serene does she now arise, a queen among
the Pleiades, in the penultimate antelucan hour,310 shod in sandals of bright
gold, coifed with a veil of what do you call it gossamer. It floats, it flows
about her starborn flesh and loose it streams, emerald, sapphire, mauve
and heliotrope,311 sustained on currents of the cold interstellar wind,312
winding, coiling, simply swirling, writhing in the skies a mysterious writ-
ing till, after a myriad metamorphoses of symbol, it blazes, Alpha, a ruby
and triangled sign upon the forehead of Taurus.313

Francis was reminding Stephen of years before when they had been at school 　 Style 24
together in Conmee's time. He asked about Glaucon, Alcibiades, Pisistratus.314
Where were they now? Neither knew. You have spoken of the past and its
phantoms, Stephen said. Why think of them? If I call them into life across
the waters of Lethe will not the poor ghosts troop to my call?315 Who suppo-
ses it? I, Bous Stephanoumenos, bullockbefriending bard, am lord and giver
of their life.316 He encircled his gadding317 hair with a coronal of vine-
leaves,318 smiling at Vincent. That answer and those leaves, Vincent said to
him, will adorn you more fitly when something more, and greatly more, than a
capful of light odes319 can call your genius father. All who wish you well
hope this for you. All desire to see you bring forth the work you medi-
tate, to acclaim you Stephaneforos.320 I heartily wish you may not fail
them. O no, Vincent Lenehan said, laying a hand on the shoulder near him.
Have no fear. He could not leave his mother an orphan. The young man's
face grew dark. All could see how hard it was for him to be reminded of
his promise and of his recent loss. He would have withdrawn from the
feast had not the noise of voices allayed the smart. Madden had lost
five drachmas on Sceptre for a whim of the rider's name: Lenehan as much
more. He told them of the race. The flag fell and, huuh! off, scamper, the
mare ran out freshly with 0. Madden up. She was leading the field. All
hearts were beating. Even Phyllis321 could not contain herself. She waved her
scarf and cried: Huzzah! Sceptre wins! But in the straight on the run home
when all were in close order the dark horse Throwaway drew level, reached,
outstripped her. All was lost now. Phyllis was silent: her eyes were sad
anemones. Juno, she cried, I am undone. But her lover consoled her and
brought her a bright casket of gold in which lay some oval sugarplums
which she partook. A tear fell: one only. A whacking fine whip, said
Lenehan, is W. Lane. Four winners yesterday and three today. What rider
is like him? Mount him on the camel or the boisterous buffalo the victory
in a hack canter is still his. But let us bear it as was the ancient wont.
Mercy on the luckless! Poor Sceptre! he said with a light sigh. She is not
the filly that she was. Never, by this hand, shall we behold such another.
By gad, sir, a queen of them. Do you remember her, Vincent? I wish you could
have seen my queen today, Vincent said. How young she was and radiant (La-
lage322 were scarce fair beside her) in her yellow shoes and frock of muslin, I
do not know the right name of it. The chestnuts that shaded us were in bloom:
the air drooped with their persuasive odour and with pollen floating by us. In
the sunny patches one might easily have cooked on a stone a batch of those
buns with Corinth fruit323 in them that Periplipomenes324 sells in his booth
near the bridge. But she had nought for her teeth but the arm with which I
held her and in that she nibbled mischievously when I pressed too close. A
week ago she lay ill, four days on the couch, but today she was free, blithe,
mocked at peril. She is more taking then. Her posies tool Mad romp that she
is, she had pulled her fill as we reclined together. And in your ear, my
friend, you will not think who met us as we left the field. Conmee himself!
He was walking by the hedge, reading, I think a brevier book with, I doubt
not, a witty letter in it from Glycera or Chloe325 to keep the page. The sweet
creature turned all colours in her confusion, feigning to reprove a slight
disorder in her dress:326 a slip of underwood clung there for the very trees
adore her. When Conmee had passed she glanced at her lovely echo in that
little mirror she carries. But he had been kind. In going by he had blessed
us. The gods too are ever kind, Lenehan said. If I had poor luck with Bass's
mare perhaps this draught of his may serve me more propensely. He was laying
his hand upon a winejar: Malachi saw it and withheld his act, pointing to
the stranger and to the scarlet label. Warily, Malachi whispered, preserve
a druid silence. His soul is far away. It is as painful perhaps to be awa-
kened from a vision as to be born. Any object, intensely regarded, may
be a gate of access to the incorruptible eon of the gods.327 Do you not think
it, Stephen? Theosophos told me so, Stephen answered, whom in a previous
existence Egyptian priests initiated into the mysteries of karmic law.328
The lords of the moon, Theosophos told me, an orangefiery shipload from
planet Alpha of the lunar chain would not assume the etheric doubles and
these were therefore incarnated by the rubycoloured egos from the second
constellation.329

However, as a matter of fact though, the preposterous surmise about him 　　 　 Style 25
being in some description of a doldrums or other or mesmerised which was
entirely due to a misconception of the shallowest character, was not the
case at all. The individual whose visual organs while the above was going
on were at this juncture commencing to exhibit symptoms of animation was
as astute if not astuter than any man living and anybody that conjectured
the contrary would have found themselves pretty speedily in the wrong
shop. During the past four minutes or thereabouts he had been staring hard
at a certain amount of number one Bass bottled by Messrs Bass and Co at
Burton-on-Trent which happened to be situated amongst a lot of others
right opposite to where he was and which was certainly calculated to at-
tract anyone's remark on account of its scarlet appearance. He was simply
and solely, as it subsequently transpired for reasons best known to himself,
which put quite an altogether different complexion on the proceedings,
after the moment before's observations about boyhood days and the turf,
recollecting two or three private transactions of his own which the other
two were as mutually innocent of as the babe unborn. Eventually, however,
both their eyes met and as soon as it began to dawn on him that the other
was endeavouring to help himself to the thing he involuntarily determined
to help him himself and so he accordingly took hold of the neck of the
mediumsized glass recipient which contained the fluid sought after and
made a capacious hole in it by pouring a lot of it out with, also at the
same time, however, a considerable degree of attentiveness in order not
to upset any of the beer that was in it about the place.

The debate which ensued was in its scope and progress an epitome of the
course of life. Neither place nor council was lacking in dignity. The
debaters were the keenest in the land, the theme they were engaged on the
loftiest and most vital. The high hall of Horne's house had never beheld
an assembly so representative and so varied nor had the old rafters of
that establishment ever listened to a language so encyclopaedic. A gallant
scene in truth it made. Crotthers was there at the foot of the table in
his striking Highland garb, his face glowing from the briny airs of the Mull
of Galloway.330 There too, opposite to him, was Lynch whose countenance
bore already the stigmata of early depravity and premature wisdom. Next
the Scotchman was the place assigned to Costello, the eccentric, while at
his side was seated in stolid repose the squat form of Madden. The chair
of the resident indeed stood vacant before the hearth but on either flank
of it the figure of Bannon in explorer's kit of tweed shorts and salted
cowhide brogues contrasted sharply with the primrose elegance and townbred
manners of Malachi Roland St John Mulligan.331 Lastly at the head of the
board was the young poet who found a refuge from his labours of pedagogy
and metaphysical inquisition in the convivial atmosphere of Socratic dis-
cussion, while to right and left of him were accommodated the flippant
prognosticator, fresh from the hippodrome, and that vigilant wanderer,
soiled by the dust of travel and combat and stained by the mire of an
indelible dishonour, but from whose steadfast and constant heart no lure
or peril or threat or degradation could ever efface the image of that vol-
uptuous loveliness which the inspired pencil of Lafayette332 has limned
for ages yet to come.

It had better be stated here and now at the outset that the perverted 　　 　 　　Style 26
transcendentalism to which Mr S. Dedalus' (Div. Scep.)333 contentions would
appear to prove him pretty badly addicted runs directly counter to accepted
scientific methods. Science, it cannot be too often repeated, deals with
tangible phenomena. The man of science like the man in the street has to
face hardheaded facts that cannot be blinked and explain them as best he
can. There may be, it is true, some questions which science cannot answer--
at present --such as the first problem submitted by Mr L. Bloom (Pubb.
Canv.)334 regarding the future determination of sex. Must we accept the view
of Empedocles of Trinacria that the right ovary (the postmenstrual period,
assert others) is responsible for the birth of males335 or are the too long
neglected spermatozoa or nemasperms the differentiating factors336 or is it,
as most embryologists incline to opine, such as Culpepper, Spallanzani,
Blumenbach, Lusk, Hertwig, Leopold and Valenti, a mixture of both? This 337-343
would be tantamount to a cooperation (one of nature's favourite devices)
between the Nisus formativus of the nemasperm on the one hand and on the
other a happily chosen position, Succubitus felix of the passive element.344
The other problem raised by the same inquirer is scarcely less vital: in-
fant mortality. It is interesting because, as he pertinently remarks, we
are all born in the same way but we all die in different ways. Mr M. Mul-
ligan (Hyg. et Eug. Doc.)345 blames the sanitary conditions in which our
greylunged citizens contract adenoids, pulmonary complaints etc. by
inhaling the bacteria which lurk in dust. These factors, he alleged, and
the revolting spectacles offered by our streets, hideous publicity posters,
religious ministers of all denominations, mutilated soldiers and sailors,
exposed scorbutic cardrivers, the suspended carcases of dead animals,
paranoic bachelors and unfructified duennas --these, he said, were account-
able for any and every fallingoff in the calibre of the race. Kalipedia,346
he prophesied, would soon be generally adopted and all the graces of life,
genuinely good music, agreeable literature, light philosophy, instructive
pictures, plastercast reproductions of the classical statues such as
Venus and Apollo, artistic coloured photographs of prize babies, all these
little attentions would enable ladies who were in a particular condition to
pass the intervening months in a most enjoyable manner. Mr J. Crotthers
(Disc. Bacc.)347 attributes some of these demises to abdominal trauma in the
case of women workers subjected to heavy labours in the workshop and to
marital discipline in the home but by far the vast majority to neglect, pri-
vate or official, culminating in the exposure of newborn infants, the prac-
tice of criminal abortion or in the atrocious crime of infanticide. Although
the former (we are thinking of neglect) is undoubtedly only too true the case
he cites of nurses forgetting to count the sponges in the peritoneal cavity
is too rare to be normative. In fact when one comes to look into it the won-
der is that so many pregnancies and deliveries go off so well as they do,
all things considered and in spite of our human shortcomings which often
baulk nature in her intentions. An ingenious suggestion is that thrown out
by Mr V. Lynch (Bacc. Arith.)348 that both natality and mortality, as well as
all other phenomena of evolution, tidal movements, lunar phases, blood
temperatures, diseases in general, everything, in fine, in nature's vast
workshop from the extinction of some remote sun to the blossoming of one
of the countless flowers which beautify our public parks is subject to a law
of numeration as yet unascertained.349 Still the plain straightforward question
why a child of normally healthy parents and seemingly a healthy child and
properly looked after succumbs unaccountably in early childhood (though
other children of the same marriage do not) must certainly, in the poet's
words, give us pause.350 Nature, we may rest assured, has her own good
and cogent reasons for whatever she does and in all probability such deaths
are due to some law of anticipation by which organisms in which morbous
germs have taken up their residence (modern science has conclusively
shown that only the plasmic substance can be said to be immortal) tend to
disappear at an increasingly earlier stage of development, an arrangement
which, though productive of pain to some of our feelings (notably the
maternal), is nevertheless, some of us think, in the long run beneficial
to the race in general in securing thereby the survival of the fittest.351 Mr
S. Dedalus' (Div. Scep.) remark (or should it be called an interruption?)
that an omnivorous being which can masticate, deglute, digest and apparent-
ly pass through the ordinary channel with pluterperfect imperturbability
such multifarious aliments as cancrenous females emaciated by parturition,
corpulent professional gentlemen, not to speak of jaundiced politicians and
chlorotic nuns, might possibly find gastric relief in an innocent collation
of staggering bob, reveals as nought else could and in a very unsavoury light
the tendency above alluded to. For the enlightenment of those who are not
so intimately acquainted with the minutiae of the municipal abattoir as this
morbidminded esthete and embryo philosopher who for all his overweening
bumptiousness in things scientific can scarcely distinguish an acid from an
alkali prides himself on being, it should perhaps be stated that staggering
bob in the vile parlance of our lowerclass licensed victuallers signifies
the cookable and eatable flesh of a calf newly dropped from its mother. In
a recent public controversy with Mr L. Bloom (Pubb. Canv.) which took
place in the commons' hall of the National Maternity Hospital, 29, 30 and
31 Holles street, of which, as is well known, Dr A. Horne (Lic. in Midw.,
F. K. Q. C. P. I.)352 is the able and popular master, he is reported by eye-
witnesses as having stated that once a woman has let the cat into the bag
(an esthete's allusion, presumably, to one of the most complicated and mar-
vellous of all nature's processes --the act of sexual congress) she must let
it out again or give it life, as he phrased it, to save her own. At the risk
of her own, was the telling rejoinder of his interlocutor, none the less ef-
fective for the moderate and measured tone in which it was delivered.

Meanwhile the skill and patience of the physician had brought about 　　 　 　　　Style 27
a happy Accouchement. It had been a weary weary while both for patient
and doctor. All that surgical skill could do was done and the brave woman
had manfully helped. She had. She had fought the good fight353 and now she
was very very happy. Those who have passed on, who have gone before, are
happy too as they gaze down and smile upon the touching scene. Reverently
look at her as she reclines there with the motherlight in her eyes, that
longing hunger for baby fingers (a pretty sight it is to see), in the first
bloom of her new motherhood, breathing a silent prayer of thanksgiving to
One above, the Universal Husband. And as her loving eyes behold her babe
she wishes only one blessing more, to have her dear Doady354 there with her
to share her joy, to lay in his arms that mite of God's clay, the fruit of their
lawful embraces. He is older now (you and I may whisper it) and a trifle
stooped in the shoulders yet in the whirligig of years a grave dignity has
come to the conscientious second accountant of the Ulster bank, College
Green branch. O Doady, loved one of old, faithful lifemate now, it may
never be again, that faroff time of the roses!355 With the old shake of her
pretty head356 she recalls those days. God! How beautiful now across the
mist of years! But their children are grouped in her imagination about the
bedside, hers and his, Charley, Mary Alice, Frederick Albert (if he had
lived), Mamy, Budgy (Victoria Frances), Tom, Violet Constance Louisa,
darling little Bobsy (called after our famous hero of the South African
war, lord Bobs of Waterford and Candahar)357 and now this last pledge of
their union, a Purefoy if ever there was one, with the true Purefoy nose.
Young hopeful will be christened Mortimer Edward after the influential
third cousin of Mr Purefoy in the Treasury Remembrancer's office, Dublin
Castle. And so time wags on: but father Cronion358 has dealt lightly here.
No, let no sigh break from that bosom, dear gentle Mina. And Doady, knock
the ashes from your pipe, the seasoned briar you still fancy when the curfew
rings for you (may it be the distant day!) and dout359 the light whereby you
read in the Sacred Book for the oil too has run low, and so with a tranquil
heart to bed, to rest. He knows and will call in His own good time. You too
have fought the good fight and played loyally your man's part. Sir, to you
my hand. Well done, thou good and faithful servant!360

There are sins or (let us call them as the world calls them) evil memo-　　 　 　 Style 28
ries which are hidden away by man in the darkest places of the heart but
they abide there and wait. He may suffer their memory to grow dim, let
them be as though they had not been and all but persuade himself that
they were not or at least were otherwise. Yet a chance word will call
them forth suddenly and they will rise up to confront him in the most
various circumstances, a vision or a dream, or while timbrel and harp
soothe his senses or amid the cool silver tranquility of the evening or
at the feast, at midnight, when he is now filled with wine. Not to insult
over him will the vision come as over one that lies under her wrath, not
for vengeance to cut him off from the living but shrouded in the piteous
vesture of the past, silent, remote, reproachful.

The stranger still regarded on the face before him a slow recession of 　　 　 　　Style 29
that false calm there, imposed, as it seemed, by habit or some studied trick,
upon words so embittered as to accuse in their speaker an unhealthiness, a
flair, for the cruder things of life. A scene disengages itself in the ob-
server's memory, evoked, it would seem, by a word of so natural a homeli-
ness as if those days were really present there (as some thought) with their
immediate pleasures. A shaven space of lawn one soft May evening, the
wellremembered grove of lilacs at Roundtown,361 purple and white, fragrant
slender spectators of the game but with much real interest in the pellets
as they run slowly forward over the sward or collide and stop, one by its
fellow, with a brief alert shock. And yonder about that grey urn where the
water moves at times in thoughtful irrigation you saw another as fragrant
sisterhood, Floey, Atty, Tiny362 and their darker friend with I know not what
of arresting in her pose then, Our Lady of the Cherries,363 a comely brace of
them pendent from an ear, bringing out the foreign warmth of the skin so
daintily against the cool ardent fruit. A lad of four or five in linseywool-
sey (blossomtime but there will be cheer in the kindly hearth when ere long
the bowls are gathered and hutched) is standing on the urn secured by that
circle of girlish fond hands. He frowns a little just as this young man
does now with a perhaps too conscious enjoyment of the danger but must
needs glance at whiles towards where his mother watches from the piaz-
zetta giving upon the flowerclose with a faint shadow of remoteness or
of reproach (alles Vergangliche)364 in her glad look.

Mark this farther and remember. The end comes suddenly. Enter that ante-
chamber of birth where the studious are assembled and note their faces.
Nothing, as it seems, there of rash or violent. Quietude of custody, ra-
ther, befitting their station in that house, the vigilant watch of shep-
herds and of angels about a crib in Bethlehem of Juda long ago.365 But
as before the lightning the serried stormclouds, heavy with preponderant
excess of moisture, in swollen masses turgidly distended, compass earth
and sky in one vast slumber, impending above parched field and drowsy
oxen and blighted growth of shrub and verdure till in an instant a flash
rives their centres and with the reverberation of the thunder the cloud-
burst pours its torrent, so and not otherwise was the transformation,
violent and instantaneous, upon the utterance of the word.

Burke's! outflings my lord Stephen, giving the cry, and a tag and bobtail 　　 　 　 Style 30
of all them after, cockerel, jackanapes, welsher, pilldoctor, punctual
Bloom at heels with a universal grabbing at headgear, ashplants, bilbos,
Panama hats and scabbards, Zermatt alpenstocks and what not. A dedale of
lusty youth, noble every student there. Nurse Callan taken aback in the
hallway cannot stay them nor smiling surgeon coming downstairs with news
of placentation ended,366 a full pound if a milligramme. They hark him on.
The door! It is open? Ha! They are out, tumultuously, off for a minute's
race, all bravely legging it, Burke's of Denzille and Holles their ul-
terior goal. Dixon follows giving them sharp language but raps out an
oath, he too, and on. Bloom stays with nurse a thought to send a kind
word to happy mother and nurseling up there. Doctor Diet and Doctor Quiet.367
Looks she too not other now? Ward of watching in Horne's house has told
its tale in that washedout pallor. Then all being gone, a glance of mother-
wit368 helping, he whispers close in going: Madam, when comes the
storkbird for thee?

The air without is impregnated with raindew moisture, life essence cel-
estial, glistening on Dublin stone there under starshiny coelum.369 God's
air, the Allfather's air, scintillant circumambient cessile370 air. Breathe
it deep into thee. By heaven, Theodore Purefoy, thou hast done a doughty
deed and no botch! Thou art, I vow, the remarkablest progenitor barring
none in this chaffering allincluding most farraginous371 chronicle. Astounding!
In her lay a Godframed Godgiven preformed possibility which thou hast fruc-
tified with thy modicum of man's work. Cleave to her! Serve! Toil on, labour
like a very bandog and let scholarment and all Malthusiasts372 go hang. Thou
art all their daddies, Theodore. Art drooping under thy load, bemoiled with
butcher's bills at home and ingots (not thine!) in the countinghouse? Head
up! For every newbegotten thou shalt gather thy homer373 of ripe wheat. See,
thy fleece is drenched.374 Dost envy Darby Dullman there with his Joan?375
A anting jay and a rheumeyed curdog is all their progeny. Pshaw, I tell
thee! He is a mule, a dead gasteropod, without vim or stamina, not worth
a cracked kreutzer. Copulation without population! No, say I! Herod's
slaughter of the innocents were the truer name. Vegetables, forsooth, and
sterile cohabitation! Give her beefsteaks, red, raw, bleeding! She is a
hoary pandemonium of ills, enlarged glands, mumps, quinsy, bunions, hay-
fever, bedsores, ringworm, floating kidney, Derbyshire neck, warts, bilious
attacks, gallstones, cold feet, varicose veins. A truce to threnes376 and tren-
tals377 and jeremies378 and all such congenital defunctive music! Twenty years
of it, regret them not. With thee it was not as with many that will and would
and wait and never --do. Thou sawest thy America,379 thy lifetask, and didst
charge to cover like the transpontine bison.380 How saith Zarathustra? Deine
kuh trubsal melkest du. Nun trinkst du Die susse milch des euters.381 See!
it displodes for thee in abundance. Drink, man, an udderful! Mother's milk,
Purefoy, the milk of human kin, milk too of those burgeoning stars over-
head rutilant in thin rainvapour, punch milk, such as those rioters will
quaff in their guzzling den, milk of madness, the honeymilk of Canaan's
land. Thy cow's dug was tough, what? Ay, but her milk is hot and sweet
and fattening. No dollop this but thick rich bonnyclaber.382 To her, old
patriarch! Pap! Per deam partulam et pertundam nunc est bibendum! 383

All off for a buster, armstrong, hollering down the street. Bonafides. 　　 　 　　 　Style 31
Where you slep las nigh? Timothy of the battered naggin. Like ole Billyo.
Any brollies or gumboots in the fambly? Where the Henry Nevil's sawbones
and ole clo? Sorra one o' me knows. Hurrah there, Dix! Forward to the
ribbon counter. Where's Punch? All serene. Jay, look at the drunken min-
ister coming out of the maternity hospal! Benedicat vos omnipotens deus,
pater et filius. A make, mister. The Denzille lane boys. Hell, blast ye! 384-397
Scoot. Righto, Isaacs, shove em out of the bleeding limelight. Yous join
uz, dear sir? No hentrusion in life. Lou heap good man. Allee samee dis
bunch. En avant, mes enfants! Fire away number one on the gun. Burke's!
Burke's! Thence they advanced five parasangs. Slattery's mounted foot.
Where's that bleeding awfur? Parson Steve, apostates' creed! No, no,
Mulligan! Abaft there! Shove ahead. Keep a watch on the clock. Chuck-
ingout time. Mullee! What's on you? Ma mere m'a mariee. British
Beatitudes! Retamplatan digidi boumboum. Ayes have it. To be printed and
bound at the Druiddrum press by two designing females. Calf covers of
pissedon green. Last word in art shades. Most beautiful book come out of
Ireland my time. Silentium! Get a spurt on. Tention. Proceed to nearest
canteen and there annex liquor stores. March! Tramp, tramp, tramp, the
boys are (atitudes!) parching. Beer, beef, business, bibles, bulldogs
battleships, buggery and bishops. Whether on the scaffold high. Beer,
beef, trample the bibles. When for Irelandear. Trample the trampellers.
Thunderation! Keep the durned millingtary step. We fall. Bishops
boosebox. Halt! Heave to. Rugger. Scrum in. No touch kicking. Wow, 385-413
my tootsies! You hurt? Most amazingly sorry!

Query. Who's astanding this here do? Proud possessor of damnall.
Declare misery. Bet to the ropes. Me nantee saltee. Not a red at me this
week gone. Yours? Mead of our fathers for the Ubermensch. Dittoh. Five
number ones. You, sir? Ginger cordial. Chase me, the cabby's caudle.
Stimulate the caloric. Winding of his ticker. Stopped short never to go
again when the old. Absinthe for me, savvy? Caramba! Have an eggnog or
a prairie oyster. Enemy? Avuncular's got my timepiece. Ten to. Obligated
awful. Don't mention it. Got a pectoral trauma, eh, Dix? Pos fact. Got bet
be a boomblebee whenever he wus settin sleepin in hes bit garten. Digs up
near the Mater. Buckled he is. Know his dona? Yup, sartin I do. Full of a
dure. See her in her dishybilly. Peels off a credit. Lovey lovekin. None of
your lean kine, not much. Pull down the blind, love. Two Ardilauns. Same
here. Look slippery. If you fall don't wait to get up. Five, seven, nine.
Fine! Got a prime pair of mincepies, no kid. And her take me to rests and
her anker of rum. Must be seen to be believed. Your starving eyes and
allbeplastered neck you stole my heart, O gluepot. Sir? Spud again the 414-437
rheumatiz? All poppycock, you'll scuse me saying. For the hoi polloi. I
vear thee beest a gert vool. Well, doc? Back fro Lapland? Your corporo-
sity sagaciating O K? How's the squaws and papooses? Womanbody after
going on the straw? Stand and deliver. Password. There's hair. Ours the
white death and the ruddy birth. Hi! Spit in your own eye, boss! Mummer's
wire. Cribbed out of Meredith. Jesified, orchidised, polycimical jesuit!
Aunty mine's writing Pa Kinch. Baddybad Stephen lead astray goodygood
Malachi.

Hurroo! Collar the leather, youngun. Roun wi the nappy. Here, Jock braw
Hielentman's your barleybree. Lang may your lum reek and your kailpot
boil! My tipple. Merci. Here's to us. How's that? Leg before wicket.
Don't stain my brandnew sitinems. Give's a shake of peppe, you there.
Catch aholt. Caraway seed to carry away. Twig? Shrieks of silence. Every
cove to his gentry mort. Venus Pandemos. Les petites femmes. Bold bad girl
from the town of Mullingar. Tell her I was axing at her. Hauding Sara by
the wame. On the road to Malahide. Me? If she who seduced me had left 438-461
but the name. What do you want for ninepence? Machree, macruiskeen.
Smutty Moll for a mattress jig. And a pull all together. Ex!

Waiting, guvnor? Most deciduously. Bet your boots on. Stunned like,
seeing as how no shiners is acoming. Underconstumble? He've got the
chink ad lib. Seed near free poun on un a spell ago a said war hisn. Us
come right in on your invite, see? Up to you, matey. Out with the oof.
Two bar and a wing. You larn that go off of they there Frenchy bilks?
Won't wash here for nuts nohow. Lil chile velly solly. Ise de cutest
colour coon down our side. Gawds teruth, Chawley. We are nae fou. We're
nae tha fou. Au reservoir, mossoo. Tanks you.

'Tis, sure. What say? In the speakeasy. Tight. I shee you, shir. Bantam,
two days teetee. Bowsing nowt but claretwine. Garn! Have a glint, do.
Gum, I'm jiggered. And been to barber he have. Too full for words.
With a railway bloke. How come you so? Opera he'd like? Rose of Castile.
Rows of cast. Police! Some H2O for a gent fainted. Look at Bantam's
flowers. Gemini. He's going to holler. The colleen bawn. My colleen bawn.
O, cheese it! Shut his blurry Dutch oven with a firm hand. Had the winner
today till I tipped him a dead cert. The ruffin cly the nab of Stephen
Hand as give me the jady coppaleen. He strike a telegramboy paddock wire
big bug Bass to the depot. Shove him a joey and grahamise. Mare on form
hot order. Guinea to a goosegog. Tell a cram, that. Gospeltrue. Criminal 462-486
diversion? I think that yes. Sure thing. Land him in chokeechokee if the
harman beck copped the game. Madden back Madden's a maddening back.
O lust our refuge and our strength. Decamping. Must you go? Off to
mammy. Stand by. Hide my blushes someone. All in if he spots me. Come
ahome, our Bantam. Horryvar, mong vioo. Dinna forget the cowslips for
hersel. Cornfide. Wha gev ye thon colt? Pal to pal. Jannock. Of John
Thomas, her spouse. No fake, old man Leo. S'elp me, honest injun. Shiver
my timbers if I had. There's a great big holy friar. Vyfor you no me tell?
Vel, I ses, if that aint a sheeny nachez, vel, I vil get misha mishinnah.
Through yerd our lord, Amen.

You move a motion? Steve boy, you're going it some. More bluggy drunkables?
Will immensely splendiferous stander permit one stooder of most extreme
poverty and one largesize grandacious thirst to terminate one expensive
inaugurated libation? Give's a breather. Landlord, landlord, have you
good wine, staboo? Hoots, mon, a wee drap to pree. Cut and come again.
Right. Boniface! Absinthe the lot. Nos omnes biberimus viridum toxicum
diabolus capiat posterioria nostria. Closingtime, gents. Eh? Rome boose 487-511
for the Bloom toff. I hear you say onions? Bloo? Cadges ads. Photo's
papli, by all that's gorgeous. Play low, pardner. Slide. Bonsoir la
compagnie. And snares of the poxfiend. Where's the buck and Namby Amby?
Skunked? Leg bail. Aweel, ye maun e'en gang yer gates. Checkmate. King
to tower. Kind Kristyann wil yu help yung man hoose frend tuk bungellow
kee tu find plais whear tu lay crown of his hed 2 night. Crickey, I'm
about sprung. Tarnally dog gone my shins if this beent the bestest puttiest
longbreak yet. Item, curate, couple of cookies for this child. Cot's plood
and prandypalls, none! Not a pite of sheeses? Thrust syphilis down to hell
and with him those other licensed spirits. Time, gents! Who wander
through the world. Health all! A la votre!

Golly, whatten tunket's yon guy in the mackintosh? Dusty Rhodes. Peep
at his wearables. By mighty! What's he got? Jubilee mutton. Bovril, by 512-537
James. Wants it real bad. D'ye ken bare socks? Seedy cuss in the Rich-
mond? Rawthere! Thought he had a deposit of lead in his penis. Trumpery
insanity. Bartle the Bread we calls him. That, sir, was once a prosperous
cit. Man all tattered and torn that married a maiden all forlorn. Slung
her hook, she did. Here see lost love. Walking Mackintosh of lonely
canyon. Tuck and turn in. Schedule time. Nix for the hornies. Pardon?
Seen him today at a runefal? Chum o' yourn passed in his checks? Lud-
amassy! Pore piccaninnies! Thou'll no be telling me thot, Pold veg! Did
ums blubble bigsplash crytears cos fren Padney was took off in black bag?
Of all de darkies Massa Pat was verra best. I never see the like since I was
born. Tiens, tiens, but it is well sad, that, my faith, yes. O, get, rev
on a gradient one in nine. Live axle drives are souped. Lay you two to one
Jenatzy licks him ruddy well hollow. Jappies? High angle fire, inyah! Sunk
by war specials. Be worse for him, says he, nor any Rooshian. Time all.
There's eleven of them. Get ye gone. Forward, woozy wobblers! Night. Night.
May Allah the Excellent One your soul this night ever tremendously
conserve.

Your attention! We're nae tha fou. The Leith police dismisseth us. The 538-558
least tholice. Ware hawks for the chap puking. Unwell in his abominable
regions. Yooka. Night. Mona, my true love. Yook. Mona, my own love.
Ook.

Hark! Shut your obstropolos. Pflaap! Pflaap! Blaze on. There she goes.
Brigade! Bout ship. Mount street way. Cut up! Pflaap! Tally ho. You
not come? Run, skelter, race. Pflaaaap!

Lynch! Hey? Sign on long o' me. Denzille lane this way. Change here for
Bawdyhouse. We two, she said, will seek the kips where shady Mary is.
Righto, any old time. Laetabuntur in cubilibus suis. You coming long?
Whisper, who the sooty hell's the johnny in the black duds? Hush! Sinned
against the light and even now that day is at hand when he shall come
to judge the world by fire. Pflaap! Ut implerentur scripturae. Strike
up a ballad. Then outspake medical Dick to his comrade medical Davy.
Christicle, who's this excrement yellow gospeller on the Merrion hall?
Elijah is coming! Washed in the blood of the Lamb. Come on you
winefizzling, ginsizzling, booseguzzling existences! Come on, you
dog-gone, bullnecked, beetlebrowed, hogjowled, peanutbrained, weaseleyed
fourflushers, false alarms and excess baggage! Come on, you triple extract
of infamy! Alexander J Christ Dowie, that's my name, that's yanked to
glory most half this planet from Frisco beach to Vladivostok. The Deity
aint no nickel dime bumshow. I put it to you that He's on the square and 559-575
a corking fine business proposition. He's the grandest thing yet and don't
you forget it. Shout salvation in King Jesus. You'll need to rise precious
early you sinner there, if you want to diddle the Almighty God. Pflaaaap!
Not half. He's got a coughmixture with a punch in it for you, my friend,
in his back pocket. Just you try it on.

* * * * *

　　　　　Richest Passages

1　　2　　3　　4　　5　　6　　7　　8　　9　　10

11　　12　　13　　14　　15　　16　　17　　18

19　　20　　21　　22　　23　　24　　25　　26

27　　28　　29　　30　　31　　32　　33　　34

35　　36　　37　　38　　39　　40　　41　　42

43　　44　　45　　46